Temporary Bliss
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Damon's given the gift of humanity for a week after accidentally spilling his guts to a witch that felt bad for him. How will Damon's relationship with Elena change when he wakes up in an alternate universe where no vampires, werewolves, or witches exist?
1. I keep waiting for your heart

_**Put me inside flesh that is dying  
>A ghost that wanders without rest<br>Burned by desires and weakness  
>I understand<br>Please, don't take your love away from me  
>-Don't take your love away by Vast<strong>_

_Damon POV._

To say I knew exactly how I got here and exactly how the tables have turned on me would be a lie. I couldn't tell you the name of the girl who sat with me in this extraordinary bubble bath that wasn't for her benefit. But one thing I could tell you was that I never wanted it to be this way. I never wanted to accept the relationship between Elena and Stefan for what it was. In their minds they saw forever when they looked at each other. For some reason I had it in my head that they saw just now. Like maybe I'd get a chance later, I'd be able to give it a shot.

But now that is over. I was never one to actually have morals but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't wreck the lives of people I actually grew to care about, so that meant I couldn't take what I wanted. I couldn't take an engaged women away from her beloved fiance. And maybe I was giving myself too much credit, as if I could actually do that if I set my mind on it.

That just caused my mind to drift off to how I got here, with another pretty face that just walked in to my trap of taking my aggression out the only way I knew how.

* * *

><p>It started off as another melancholy disastrous day in Mystic Falls. I didn't know what to do with myself when a joyful Stefan and Elena came back to the boarding house from their little get away at Elena's cabin. It didn't fit with the current circumstances. I didn't understand how after they both have been ambushed, nearly staked, and told that Elena still is probably going to die that they could be laughing. Shouldn't they be a little bit more worried and serious about the situation they are in?<p>

"Damon we have news." Elena's smile sent little flutters to my stomach but that stopped when she aimed that same smile back at Stefan. "With everything going on, we know it's bad timing but we thought we had to stay positive."

"What is it?" I was getting impatient and it seemed like they were purposely taking their time with telling me after they both glanced at each other warily.

"We're engaged. Yes we know it's a little unrealistic but it gives us hope, you know?" To say the least I was at lost for words. Elena looked so happy. She was starring at her finger as if at any moment the ring would just disappear. I hesitantly walked forward the small distance that separated us and took her tiny little hand in mine. There it was. It was my mom's ring. I had no idea how Stefan got it, but it infuriated me to core. Stefan didn't even know our mother how dare he have her ring, but then the thought of Elena being the one to wear the ring calmed me down. Even if it was a resemblance of them, there is no other girl in the world I thought should have it.

"Isn't the ring pretty? Stefan keeps saying it's old and he should buy me something new because it would mean more but I love it." She gushed about the ring and I felt like getting sick in that very moment. I wanted to be happy for her. I loved her and if she was happy, I wanted to be happy, even when it was killing me. But I couldn't do it. I wasn't mad. I was severely disappointed that I let her slip through my fingers.

"It was my mothers." I didn't even realize it was coming out of my mouth as I stared at the ring then back to a shocked Elena.

"It is? Stefan didn't tell me that!" She shot daggers at Stefan who just shrugged.

"I-I need to go." I grabbed my leather jacket and got out of that house as quick as I could. Thoughts of how Stefan stole my mothers ring and the two women I've ever really cared about rushed through my head. Well now only the women I cared about. I tried my best not to be angry with him. But anger was a reflex to me, it came just as natural as breathing. It wasn't fair. No one in this life should know how this felt. I rushed to the Grill to clear my mind the only way I knew how. Drinking my sorrows away. How cliche, but easy it was to do.

* * *

><p>And that's how I ended up here. With a girl who was drinking her problems away as well at the bar. I took advantage of the situation and this is where I found myself.<p>

"I've been drinking too much." I muttered while putting the empty glass of wine down on the side of the tub. I tried to push back the thoughts of what should really be running down my throat to satisfy me, even though I knew it was inevitable that this girl wouldn't be making it through the night. She had a fire in her, so of course, I wanted to take that from her.

"No. You can't stop now. Us problem drinkers need to stick together." She gave a little giggle while still sipping out of her own glass. "So Damon, what exactly is your story? You looked like a freight train hit you when I first saw you.

"My brother is marrying the one women I've ever given myself the chance to love again." I grabbed a hold of her glass and finished off the wine while setting it down as well. "And to top it off he proposed with my mothers ring." I was getting lost in thought now and I didn't care what came out of my mouth. She'd forget it anyway. "Maybe if I was... maybe if I was human I could have been the one for her. Maybe If I was better. I want it so bad." I said while nearly breaking. "I want to be able to have chances I once did again. I want to be human again more than anything."

"I get it. My boyfriend dumped me when he found out what I was." I wasn't paying too close attention to this girl but after that sentence my head flashed in her direction. She wasn't freaking out like most girls would be. I was ready to compel her but it was as if everything I just said was normal or she was expecting it. She looked painfully familiar but I couldn't pin in.

"You look familiar." I stated, wanting some answers. "Have we met before?"

"You may know my little cousin, Bonnie. We are told we look like each other all the time." She slurred and took another drink. I couldn't tell if she was actually getting tipsy or faking it.

"So, you are a Bennett?"

"Oh, god no!" She leaned in close and whispered in my ear. "Don't you know the Bennett's are crazy?" She giggled and leaned back. "They think they are witches!" She laughed profusely and I watched her carefully. What was this girl playing at?

"Okay, lets cut the shit. You know who I am and I know who you are."

"Took you long enough. The moment you walked in the bar I knew who you were. I'm not going to lie Damon, I came back here to teach you a lesson, plus you were hot. But I kind of feel bad for you now."

"What are you talking about?" I snapped. After today, I really didn't need this.

"Your life is pathetically tragic. We both knew what you were going to do if you didn't figure out what I was. I'm not a midnight snack for you. Now I think the only way to punish and help you out would be to give you exactly what you want. The punishment would be, after a week, it'll be gone."

"What are you giving me?"

"Humanity." She smiled at me and didn't know if I had too much to drink or if I was officially going crazy. And here I thought I already had my psychotic break. "For a week you will live your life the way it would be if you were human. No vampires, werewolves...witches. It would be as if it never existed."

"This is ridiculous." I said while finally done with this. I went to sit up from the tub when all of a sudden a horrendous pain went off in my head. I couldn't focus on anything but the piercing pain. And then everything went black.

_**AN: Thanks for reading. The time frame is a little off because I wrote this a while back. If you have any suggestion or ideas feel free to tell me:)**_

_**Review!**_


	2. Wishing this could be reality

**_"Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse for impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible." _** **_  
>Thomas A. Kempis<em>**

_Damon POV_  
>I woke up in a cold sweat and had the shakes. I grasped at what I thought was bed sheets and looked around. There was nothing but pitch black, which was odd. No matter how dark it was I should be able to make out certain things but there was nothing. It was also oddly quiet. I should be hearing something... the house settling... something, but there was nothing. I tried to remember the exact events of how I got here. How I even got to my bed. I reached out for a lamp I knew should be next to my bed. I knocked over a few things on my dresser till I finally found a switch.<p>

The light burned my eyes and I turned away from it. Since when does that happen? I looked down and saw the stuff I knocked over. There were pictures with broken glass and a now broken alarm laying on the florr. I've never owned an alarm a day in my life, never needed one... and the pictures. I slid off my bed and sat down on the floor looking at them. There was one of Elena and I. I looked nearly thirteen and she was just a kid. I felt my face crinkle in confusion as I picked up the other picture. Stefan... It was of Stefan and I. I had on a graduation gown and cap, which didn't make sense. I never went to high school... I never graduated... Oh I see. This must be a joke. Is it April fools or something?

I shook my head while standing up. I then realized I was cold. Since when have I ever been cold? I looked down and saw goosebumps on my arms. Okay, what the hell is going on?

"Stefan!" I yelled and barged out of my room. Everything looked the same, but it was all different. Everything looked slightly shifted and felt different. Even the ground below my feet felt like it changed. "There is some freaky shit going on!" I yelled again while rushing down the stairs.

"Damon? What's wrong?" Stefan was walking out of the kitchen when he saw me.

"I don't know what, but there is something wrong with me" My voice sounded strained and I didn't like it.

"You are just discovering this now?" Stefan laughed at his own joke that wasn't even funny. He suddenly went quiet when he saw how serious I was.

"I'm cold, I'm can't hear anything, my memory is hazy and I'm not even hungry! I'm losing it Stefan!" I started pacing and he just watched me.

"Maybe you should put some clothes on and you wont be so cold." When his laugh reached my ears, I didn't understand. I'm not supposed to be feeling any of this! How does he not see something is wrong?"

"I can't even think of clothes at a time like this!"

"Damon, I don't know what's wrong with you but obviously you need to sit down and take a few deep breaths."

"Yea, breath, that could help." Stefan leaded my towards the living room and I was shocked. It was like Stefan actually cared. We've been walking on eggshells around each other lately and I was surprised but the way he was acting.

"Listen, I know I freaked out when you told me about you and Elena getting married. I'm sorry it was just a lot and-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Stefan cut me off and he truly had a bewildered expression on his face. "Elena and I aren't getting married..." He laughed and shook his head. "We've only been dating for a few months. Where did you get that?"

"But..." I trialed off. What was wrong with me.

"Damon, are you on drugs?" Stefan said and at first I tried to tell him he wasn't funny but he looked dead serious. Yes, a vampire druggy is totally common.

"Maybe... I mean , no." I shook my head and realized I had to shut my mouth. Clearly talking to Stefan was a bad idea. I had to fake it and then freak out when I'm alone. "I just had a bad night last night." I muttered while standing up.

"Okay well I'm about to go get some food. I'll be back in twenty minutes tops."

"Is it rabbit season already?"

"What?"

"You now because you've been eating- Oh never mind." I said while giving up. "I forgot you had no sense of humor." He gave me a look and I just shook it off. I watched him go to the door. He was just about to leave when he stopped.

"Oh and Elena is around here somewhere. We are having a movie night and I'm getting pizza. You can join us if you want." I almost laughed at the thought but stopped myself from making a smart remark when knowing I had the house alone with Elena.

"Bye Stefan." I said while walking out of the kitchen and started to look for Elena. "Elena? Are you around here?" I heard her voice in the distance which sounded far away. I started poking my head into rooms and kept searching.

"Damon are you okay? You sound distressed." Elena's voice came out of nowhere. She was sitting on the couch in the library and I had no idea how I didn't sense her. How did I not smell, hear, or feel her presence? Her worried expression didn't fade as she stood up and walked towards me.

"Yea, I'm fine." I said trying not to alarm her. The last thing I needed was her knowing that something was wrong with me.

"Damon, we've known each other our whole lives, I know when something is wrong." She lightly rubbed my shoulder and I didn't understand.

"Our whole lives?" I definitely have only known Elena for a year or two.

"Okay, there is seriously something wrong." The worried look on her face never went away as she led to me to sit down. I knew I had to play this off. I couldn't have her asking questions. I just needed to keep calm.

"Seriously Elena, it was just a long night." I sighed and leaned back into the couch trying to play as cool as I possibly could.

"Well if you want to talk I'm here. You slept in really late today and you only do that when something is wrong."

"How would you know that?"

"Damon we've been bestfriend since I was in kindergarten, I know everything about you."

"Kindergarten?"

"Yea, you were the kid in the second grade who was the only one to let me play that stupid game cans with all the big kids. I beat you every time."

"I probably let you win." Only in the back of my mind did I realize I was going along with whatever was happening to me.

"You did. I always knew, just like I know when you sleep to three that there is something wrong. I worry about you." I sat down next to her on the couch and she snuggled up against me. I already accepted the fact something was off. But her doing that just showed how messed up this was. "Is this about what happened the other night?" Her voice now sounded distant and I could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

"What happened the other night?" I saw a brief look of hurt flash across her features and then realization.

"You're right. It's best to just forget it ever happened. I mean it was only a kiss."

"A what?" I asked right away on reflex. No, I definitely would have remembered kissing her.

"It was stupid. We just got caught up in the moment."

"We kissed?"

"Damon you were there." She gave me a suspicious look and reached her hand out to feel my forehead. "You don't have a fever..." She gave me another look and than I saw that spark that went off in her eye when she got an idea. "So Stefan and I are having a movie day but tomorrow I'm not doing anything. What about you?"

"To tell you the truth I can't even wrap my brain around what is going on tomorrow."

"So you are free? Good. We are going to have a Damon and Elena day, to cheer you up. "

"Whatever you say Elena." I muttered and still felt her wary eyes on me.

"Damon you're shivering."

"For some reason I'm cold today." I said while noting I was in fact shivering.

"Maybe if you didn't walk around half naked you wouldn't be. I mean not that I'm complaining or anything." She gave me a wicked smile and I knew I had to get out of this room. It was official. I've gone crazy.

"I need some air." I stood up and almost dashed to the door but stopped when I heard her sweet voice.

"Wait, I just wanted to say something." I turned slowly to look at her. "Thanks for not telling Stefan about how I kissed you. It would only hurt him. You're a good brother and a great best friend." She gave me a genuine smile and I couldn't return it. I found myself leaving her without another word. I tried to speed out of the house but when I went to run I just moved at a human pace. I ended up running out of breath and gasped for air. Well, this was a new feeling. It was almost like I was... No I couldn't be...

I quickly rushed to the fridge and searched for a blood bag. I knocked over stuff and looked around the fridge. Why did we have so much food? When my eyes landed on some grapes and I thought they looked appetizing is when it finally hit me. Yeah, I was definitely human.

_**AN: So I was going to write this story in 3rd person but to tell you the truth I suck at it. I mean I wrote a chap in 3rd person and it was awful! So I don't know if I should add Elena's POV or not. What do you think? I hope you liked this chapter. **_

_**Review;) **_


	3. You can't fool a selfish heart

_**She belongs somewhere else, where pain isn't hope  
>And lives get every chance, not part of every plan<br>I believe the faithful fell, didn't know their way back  
>So far away from home, but brother we're not alone<br>Non-believer by La rocca**_

"Oh thank god you are awake!"

"Well, hello to you too." I put down my paper and stood up and walked towards Elena who just walked into the boarding house. Yesterday was interesting and my memory was slowly coming back to me and the pieces were starting to fit. I vaguely remember being told about being human for a week. I can't remember the details, so I spent the whole night up trying to piece them together. I wanted to know what exactly was happening to me and I think I have a pretty good idea now.

Still, I couldn't wrap my mind around the relationships I now had. I was close with Elena... I could tell we were practically inseparable and that scared me a bit. How could she be so close with someone like me? I had to be a bad influence, but maybe in this world, I wasn't so bad. Stefan didn't glare at me and Elena never lectured me. It was nice but it still wasn't right. I planned on taking advantage of this relationship, but it still felt wrong. I loved the silly arguments Elena and I got in. Was it like that if I was human too?

"It's been such a long morning, you wouldn't even believe. I spent the whole time arguing with Jenna." She came in and went straight for a hug. I immediately stiffened and didn't know what to do. Elena only hugs me when something is wrong. I'm not used to hello hugs yet. I don't think I've ever had one. When she let go of me she went in to slap my hand and I could tell she wanted to do a handshake that I had no idea of.

"What's wrong with you? Don't you remember our secret handshake that means lets go get wasted without Stefan knowing?" She gave me a suspicious look that has been on her face almost every time I have seen her since I woke up in the place. "We do this on a weekly basis."

"Remind me how it goes." She took my hand and showed me exactly how it went. In the back of my mind I could tell it felt familiar but I didn't understand how. When she was done showing me how to move my hands we pounded it out and I stored that in the back of my head. I needed to start acting like I knew what I was doing so I could actually enjoy myself.

"I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to teach you that again." She shook her head and then went to her purse and started riffling through it. "So what do you want to do? I was thinking lunch and then something special."

"Like what?"

"Umm." I watched her think it over and I noticed how she did the same thing in the real world and this one where she bites her lip and tries to think. "You promised me you'd take me mini golfing!"

"Uh, no!"

"You promised! You know I've never gone before. Pleaseeeee." She gave me those puppy dog eyes and I had to look away. I guess she knew exactly how to get under my skin here too. "I'll love you forever." I felt a pull at my heart, knowing those words wouldn't even come out of Elena's mouth back home, but I wished they would. This Elena gave me a chance and I guess this is what the outcome was.

"You already will love me forever."

"That's not the point." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, what else would we do?"

"I don't know, maybe we should get drunk. I could really use a distraction and you came in with that handshake."

"Not all your problems will be fixed with alcohol. And now I want to go mini golfing instead." She scowled at me and I pretend to scowl right back in till she stopped. "What about this... We play for it."

* * *

><p>I don't know how I exactly got roped into this but I stood out front of the boarding house watching Elena line me up exactly on the line of the sidewalk box while she crushed a can and put it in between us to go stand on her own line.<p>

"If I win, we go golfing. You win, we do whatever you want."

"And why are we doing this?" I think we could have worked out the situation without all of this.

"Damon, you are the only person I can act like I'm twelve with. Now come one lets play!" I watched her smile that lit up her whole face and I already knew I couldn't deny her anything. That smile... it's so nonexistent in the real world and I feel a part of me break that maybe if I wasn't who I was or Stefan, maybe that smile would be more present. I'm pretty sure her parents have still died but I could tell she didn't drown in her pain anymore. It's such an ugly world and I don't understand how half the stuff that had happened to her could be done to such a sweetheart. There was one thing I was sure of now. Out of all the confusion I was going through I promised myself, I would see that smile on her again. The smile that makes her glow, the smile that proves she can be truly happy with the world on her shoulders and she would know that not every moment has to be so hard.

"This is so stupid." I said while laughing.

"Hey!" She yelled at me clearly upset. "This is what made our friendship! You better cherish this game."

"Oh, I didn't know you were so sensitive." I joked while catching the ball she chucked at me. "And besides, I would have gotten you some other way."

"Sure." She said sarcastically. "Now, shut up Salvatore and prepare to lose."

"Gilbert you shouldn't challenge me like that."

"I already know I'm going to win. Lets face it even if I do start to lose you'll let me win anyway." I laughed and went to throw the ball. I caught on to how the game worked. Apparently all you had to do was hit the can with the ball and that was it. Obviously I didn't understand why it was such a hit with all the little kids but Elena truly looked happy.

"You promised me whatever I want, so I can't let you win this time." I said and watched her take her turn and barely miss the can.

"That was dangerous wasn't it?"

"Very." I smirked at her and we went on playing out game. Throughout the time I couldn't help myself but feel the familiarity of it. As if I could actually remember playing this as a little kid. That is ridiculous but I had the notion that I in fact did do this on a daily basis with her as kids. I couldn't have those memories, I never experienced them even if everyone thinks they remember it, but I do feel like I remember. It was freaking me out.

* * *

><p>"Yea, suck it Damon!" I ended up letting her win our little game just like she knew I would. I watched her gloat for a whole minute and then go back to the calm and collective Elena I know. "Alright I'm starving, lets go to the Grill."<p>

She grabbed her stuff and we ended up leaving. When we finally got there and walked in a whole new feeling washed through me. Hunger. But not the kind I've experienced for most of my life. This was new, I was used to the gut wrenching thirst and cravings of what blood offers but being truly hungry was completely different. I heard my stomach growl and I almost jumped. That was the strangest thing ever.

"Why is the Sheriff giving me the stink eye?" I asked Elena while catching Liz glaring at me. Elena started laughing which made me grow even more confused.

"I don't know, maybe you being the college guy that was dating her underage daughter didn't really settle well with her."

"She doesn't like me?" That is ridiculous! She loved me!

"Damon you already knew that..."

"Sure." I mumbled while we walked over to a booth in the middle of the Grill. "So I'm dating Caroline?"

"I thought you guys were on break?" She said while looking at the menu. Clearly she took it as a statement not a question.

"Umm, yea we are."

"You never told me why." She sat the menu down while turning her attention back to me.

"I wasn't feeling it." I said while thinking back to the brief and disastrous relationship I did have with Caroline.

"Caroline is an awesome person but she's changed so much over the years. Is it okay to say I'm glad you guys split?"

"Why are you with Stefan?" It was the first thing that popped into mind and I didn't really care how forward it was.

"What do you mean?" She leaned back and looked at me. "What's wrong with Stefan?"

"He just doesn't seem right with you."

"Where is this coming from? You are the one who has been trying to convince me to date him since like middle school. Remember, Elena you need to date Stefan, he's one of the good guys. You need a guy to treat you right Elena." She did her best at mimicking me in a deep voice that was almost laughable.

"I just don't see it that way anymore." I said while trying to wrap my brain around convincing her to date Stefan. "I think you are better off with someone like-"

"Like you?" She added for me and I just shrugged.

"You know what Damon, I don't understand you. One moment you are telling me to date your brother, then you are kissing me, then rejecting me the way you did and here we are again with you saying something like that." How did I reject her? Oh, how I wished to know what she was talking about most of the time.

"I didn't mean to send mix signals." It wasn't my fault. I had no idea what all that has happened between us.

"I'm so tired of you thinking just because we are so close you can treat me whatever way you like. I'm not Caroline. I'm some game to you, seriously Damon I'm your only friend. You don't mess around with friends"

"I'm not messing around with you."

"Clearly you are. Damon you really hurt my feelings the other night and then you just go back to your normal flirty self. I can't sit through that anymore. Not after what happened."

"I know that! I never meant to make you upset."

"Whatever Damon. A lot has been going through my mind lately. About us, and this is just making me more confused. I'll see you around." She got her things and slid out of the booth and easily walked away.

"What about mini golfing?" I yelled after her but she didn't even turn around. I must have hit a nerve but there was one thing I was certain about. There was more going on between us than I thought.

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	4. I want to do crimes

_**"There's no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."**_

_**Ella Wheeler Wilcox**_

I went in to the boarding house and threw my keys onto the counter. I walked around the corner and gasped when I saw Stefan there. This whole, not sensing people thing was hard to get used to.

"I thought you were going to be gone all night with Elena."

"We got in a fight." I sat down on the couch while Stefan walked around the room.

"Shocker." I heard him mumble and that caught my attention. "So when are you going to go over to her house and beg for forgiveness?"

"Who says it's my fault?"

"That's just what you guys do. You fight all the time because you are both too stubborn. Then you cool off and go apologize. It's been this pattern for years now. She's probably eagerly sitting by her window waiting for you." So we do constantly bicker. I let a small laugh escape, and here I was worried that part of our relationship didn't exist here.

"She knows how she has me wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

"Everyone knows." Stefan came and sat down right next to me. I gave him a strange look but realized this is normal to us. "You guys act like an old married couple. It's a good thing you aren't into her or I would be worried." I cocked an eyebrow at him and thought that over. Did all these people really believe I didn't want Elena?

"What makes you so sure of that?"

"You are too vocal about how you are a player and will always be. Elena hangs on to your every word and sometimes you are oblivious." He laughed at me and shook his head. I really did not like this. I was a whole other kind of douche in this world. "It would just be nice if my girlfriend wasn't in love with my brother though." He mumbled more to himself than to me. "I'm just happy she's got you out of her head for the moment and moved onto me." I tried not to laugh out loud of how apparently wrong he was.

"Yea." Was all I could manage as I thought this over. It was like everything was opposite in this world. It was everything I wanted but I hated it. It was so wrong and out of place.

"But anyway, are you coming to my game on Friday?" Stefan gave me a big smile and hopeful look. I tried not to laugh in his face. His game?

"No." I said on reflex in a more snotty way than I intended. My laughter immediately got stuck in my throat when I saw his face fall in disappointment. I quickly tried to cover it up. "Just kidding. Of course I'll come." I said in a more brotherly way and gripped his shoulder and tried out a smile. "What kind of brother would I be if I didn't?"

"Okay, you don't have to be weird about it." He said while giving me an odd look and stood up. I wasn't used to the big brother role yet. I stopped treating Stefan that way the moment he betrayed me, but this Stefan, he was innocent. I could tell he still had his boyish charm and ways like back when. That was how I always pictured Stefan should be, that is what I considered innocence to be. Instead of this new Stefan that went around and brooded while taking self pity on himself constantly. Some time I just wanted to shake him and tell him to stop sulking because it's nobody's fault but his own. But of course, I would be looked down on. I was tired of it.

"Sorry." I mumbled while standing up myself and walking back towards the door. If this me apologizes so much, then I wasn't going to waste my time away from Elena.

"Going to grovel, I see?" I heard Stefan from behind me.

"Shut it, Stefan." I said while walking out the door.

* * *

><p>When I finally got to Elena's house I thought about what I should say and I couldn't come up with anything good. I couldn't form the right thoughts on how to ask for forgiveness. It wasn't my thing. In my world if the word sorry came out of my mouth that was good enough because it was such a big deal for that, but here... I was going to have to actually talk. Talking wasn't my best skill when it came to angry girls. I take the easy way out and just flash a smile and flirt a bit till they become mush, and I couldn't do that with Elena. She would see right through it.<p>

I walked up to Elena's door and made my hand in a fist to knock but couldn't bring myself to do it. I literally stood there for about a minute, trying to convince myself to be a man besides the little girl that wanted to run back to her car and hide out. When I finally made the decision to knock the door was pulling away from me before I could come in contact with it. For a moment I was shocked, not expecting it and then realized Elena just used my trick, no one has done that to me before.

"Scared to knock?" She mocked me and opened the door wider for me. I stepped right in and smiled. Even though I've been invited into her house millions of times, I still liked the fact I didn't need to technically be invited in. Maybe I needed to do a breaking and entering sometime as a human, just because I could. I almost got lost in the thought of just walking into some random house whenever I wanted and focused back on what I had to do. "I'm waiting..." Elena said, expectantly.

"And what exactly are you waiting for." I said playing along. I wasn't just going to hand over my apology.

"You know what."

"I actually don't." I smirked and walked past her while going up the stairs right to her room. I heard her huff from behind me and follow up the stairs. I've been wanting to see how little things have changed and I especially wanted to see her bedroom. For more reasons then one. I walked right in and surprisingly it wasn't much different. Things were a little rearranged and her bed was slightly shifted but mostly, it was all the same. I flopped down on her bed and watched as she did the same on the other side of me. Whenever I tried to pretend this was like how it was in the real world, Elena did something like that. Whenever Elena and I are in her bedroom, she purposely puts space between us. I watch as she moves when I move, mostly to keep distance, as if I would jump her at any moment. I looked again and saw a picture similar to the one next to my bed on her bedside table. I unconsciously took a hold of it and looked at it.

"Creepy." I mumbled as I looked at the picture of the two of us. I knew it was impossible, but I felt like I remembered when this was taken. At the park... and it was just about to rain.

"Hey, I liked that picture." Elena took it out of my hands and I watched as she looked over it. "It's not creepy. You have one next to your bed too, even if I did put it there." She shrugged and I couldn't help but smile at her. "It was such an icky day." She said while handing the picture back to me. "I remember we had to walk home in pouring rain. We both got sick." She laughed to herself while I was freaking out. Was I remembering things about my fake past? How was that possible?

"I'm sorry." I said quickly down to the point. "I open my mouth and can't control the words that come out sometimes, which I'm sure you know."

"Yea, I know." I heard her sigh so I shifted to watch her. She squirmed down and put her head on my chest. I froze at the simple contact between us and didn't know how to react. Everything was just so new to me. "I overreacted it's just..."

"It's just what?" I said catching her hesitance to talk to me.

"Nothing Damon."

"That's not fair." I absentmindedly started stroking her hair in an unconscious way to comfort her. "You force stuff out of me all the time."

"Fine." She sat up and turned around so we were sitting opposite of each other. "I feel stupid." She then laughed at herself and put her head in her hands.

"Why?" I said while laughing a little bit and prying her hands away.

"Can we just forget this whole weekend?"

"No." I wanted to know exactly what happened. Maybe if I was going crazy with these nonexistent memories I'd actually remember the exchange that had her all flustered. "I mean, yes. We can forget all about whatever happened."

"Thanks." She smiled at me but I could tell she was still a little tentative.

"Okay, so I walked in your house and I finally decided something I want to do and you being my best friend, have to agree to it." I stood up a little more straight and waited for her. She gave me a very confused look and I just smiled at it.

"What is it?"

"You have to agree to it first."

"I'm not sure about this. That mischievous look on your face means that this is actually the worst idea ever."

"It may just be." I thought of what we would do. We could get into trouble but I didn't care. I can't do it in the vampire world, so I'm going to do it in this one. Besides, this world wont even exists in five days. "Now agree to it."

"Okay, I'm interested in this now. Whatever it is you have in mind I'll do it." I smiled and held out my pinky finger.

"Promise?" She pinky promised like it was completely normal and nodded.

"Promise."

"I am going to do a B and E. You get to drive the get away car."

"What the hell is that?" She gave me a wary look that made my smile widen. "Bacon and Eggs?"

"Breaking and Entering."

"You are joking right?" She wasn't taking this seriously and I just wanted her to go along with it. "You want to be a fucking criminal?"

"Just for today. When doing a B and E, you need an accomplice. Especially a rational one, like you, to try and talk me out of it."

"Nooo. Whatever you are thinking of doing Damon, don't."

"It's an adventure." I sat up from the bed and walked to her door, suddenly in an incredibly good mood.

"I don't like your type of adventures."

"If you don't do this with me, our friendship is over." I joked while turning towards her, from her door. "I will not even talk to you in the next life."

* * *

><p>Next thing I knew, I somehow managed to get Elena into my car as we drove around. It was finally dark out which made this experience so much more fun. It's not like I was performing a burglary, I just wanted to literately enter and then leave a random house. Which is completely silly... so I had to do it.<p>

"Don't do this..." Elena dramatically pleaded. I tried my best not to laugh at her. The slightly panicked but stable look on her face was so cute. "Why would you even do this?"

"Because I need to. It's a quest, and we are on it."

"You are going to get in trouble. I don't get your sudden need to be criminal." I wasn't paying attention to her as I found a house that was perfect. It was late, but not too late and all the lights were off, so I knew they were just all out. That was were I was going to do my B and E. I looked at Elena while nodding to the house and she just started breathing hard. I decided to park a couple blocks away from the house, just for Elena's benefit. She didn't understand why I so simply just wanted to enter a house I was unwelcome in, but her reactions were just too entertaining not to build up the dramatics of the whole situation. I parked the car and went around to drag her out of it.

I led her to a house as we started going into someone's backyard. I started snickering to myself when I heard Elena somewhat running at a speed that should be considered walking. Her flushed face and clear nervousness just made it all better. We went through our second backyard as we crept upon the house. I heard a noise and turned around to see Elena almost fall on a kids toy but sprung up right away. I actually let out a laugh and then went back to my show of it all. There was a little fence we had to hop over which I got over fine and I helped her. I started walking till I heard her snap back against it.

"My shirt..." I heard Elena whimper. "This is my favorite shirt." I watched as she tore the cloth from the metal fence as I struggled to keep composure.

"You shouldn't have worn your favorite shirt to a B and E then." I grabbed her hand and started dragging her again. "You should have worn your second favorite shirt."

We finally got to the house and I walked up the path way with Elena nervously standing besides me.

"You ready?"

"Wait..." She whispered and yelled at the same time. "I think I hear a car."

"Well, yea, cars are all around us. The world is full of them. You will hear a lot of them for the rest of your life." I turned back to the house and moved forward. "If you hear a lion roar or something, tell me that. That would be weird...then I'll stop." I was nearly three steps away and stopped and gave it a second thought but went for it anyway. Before I knew it I had the door open and stepped right through. I didn't even notice that I was giggling like a little girl, clearly, just for the fact I did something I never should have been able to. I was bound never to enter a house without being invited in, but hey, I'm Damon Salvatore and I did it. I felt fantastic. I turned back to Elena and it almost looked like her face was melting in horror. "Lets get out of here." I said while still laughing.

"Yea!" She said a little breathless. I walked out out of the house, leaving the door open while returning to Elena.

When I finally got back to the car, Elena still looked as pale as a ghost but I think she was now realizing, I was just trying to freak her out. There was silence and I finally let a chuckle out that caused Elena to look at me with wide eyes and then immediately burst into laughter. It went on and on for a couple minutes and then we both finally calmed down.

"You know now thinking about it, maybe I should have closed the door. I probably just messed up that family."

"They are going to come home and they are going to be wondering what the hell you took." She said while finally settling down. "After school tomorrow, can we do something simple. Like maybe watch a movie, in the safety of our own homes or maybe even play a nice safe game of scrabble and not break any laws."

"But this was so much more fun." I said sarcastically while finally driving away. "We just did our first B and E."

"This is what I love about you."

"And there is plenty I love about you, Elena."

**_AN: Sorry for the long wait. I really just wanted to have fun with this chapter so there wasn't really any huge plot changing events, but I hope you liked it:)_**

**_Review!_**


	5. I know you felt a change in my heart

_**We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter. **_

_**~Mignon McLaughlin**_

"Damon!" I heard someone yelling from the distance but I did my best to put it in the back of my mind as I rolled over onto my back. "Damon! I swear when I find you..." The door to my bedroom slammed open and now I was slightly scared to open my eyes. "No. No. No. No!" A second later I was gasping for air when all sudden something hard fell onto my chest. "Is this a joke?"

"This.. is a great way to wake up." I gasped while catching my breath as Elena sat on top of me. In return she slapped me on my forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Please, tell me you are not just waking up." I peeked my eyes open and saw that her face matched her angry tone.

"Did I miss something?"

"Did you miss something?" Suddenly she had a pillow in her hands and took advantage of the fact I just woke up and started beating me with it.

"Elena, stop it. Calm down." I grabbed the pillow from her and put it to the side. "What did I do?" I said,finally catching on that I probably missed something normal Damon does.

"Did you forget about me? I waited for you, for literately hours. You could have called to tell me you couldn't pick me up from school or at least woken up." The pillow found her way back to her hands as she started to hit me again. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?" She stopped with the pillow still in her hands and gave me a confused look.

"Class?"

"On Mondays you have class at four." She leaned off me a little and looked where I assumed my alarm clock was. "It's almost five. What's wrong with you?" A look of worry passed over her instead of the pissed off expression. "Are you sick?" She felt my forehead and than shook her head.

"No, I'm not sick." I managed to push her off me and lay her down on the other side of me. I took in a couple deep breaths at now finally being able to breath properly. I resisted the urge to close my eyes and fall asleep again, I knew I would get hell from Elena if that happened. I don't know why but lately sleeping was my favorite thing. The littlest things wore me out. It's was like I was in really bad shape, I don't even want to know what it would be like if I tried to take a jog around the block.

"Damon... you are not falling asleep?" I didn't even realize that my eyes had closed while I was thinking.

"No, I was just resting my eyes." I blinked a couple times and sat up in the bed, trying to actually wake up.

"So I have to tell you something. I don't know how you will feel about it. It's about Caroline."

"Sure, what is it?" I got up and started looking through my closest for something to wear. I could tell that Elena didn't want to tell me but I could care less. There was nothing in this world that could really affect me, only confuse me.

"She's pregnant." I let out a laugh and went on looking for a shirt.

"Should of known Blondie would get herself in that sort of situation. I can't wait to tell her about this when I get back."

"What?" I didn't even realized I let that slip.

"Nothing."

"Damon..." I turned around at her hesitant voice and then it hit me.

"Oh my god, it's not mine, is it?" I didn't realize the complete horror in my voice but it was uncontrollable.

"No!" I let out a breath after that and started to laugh again.

"Don't scare me like that." I don't know why I actually got worried, it's not like it would matter anyway. But still, I just had my first pregnancy scare, even if it only lasted fro a second. I was doing all new human things. And I liked it.

"I thought you would be more upset about it."

"Why?"

"Because that means she cheated on you when you were dating." I rolled my eyes at this. It felt so high school. How was I in this drama?

"I don't care anymore. Besides I have other girls to think about." I gave her a wink and went to put on my shirt. I caught the look on her face before I pulled my shirt over my head and saw that it disappeared when she saw I was watching.

"I'm sure you do." She sounded a little bitter but I brushed it off.

"Are you pouting?" I walked towards her and fell down on the bed next to her.

"No." She said instantly. The way this world was so twisted was now becoming laughable. "So how are you going to make up for being an ass?"

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't know, entertain me." I saw the mischievous smile on her face and did my best not to make a comment.

"Oh baby, I know plenty of ways to entertain you." I just couldn't help myself. But I tried, I really did.

"You know you say stuff like that all the time, but you never actually prove it. I'm starting to doubt it."

"Don't tempt me Elena."

"What exactly are you tempted to do?" I loved that little grin on her face. She knew exactly how she tempted me but she still played along, even though we both knew that whole topic was avoided. "Now, seriously. Tell me a story or something." I watched as she crawled under my covers and got situated. "I could use an afternoon nap after the day I've had."

"Nap time story?"

"Yes."

"Alright." I sat back with and thought up something in my head. "There once were two brother. Who were both in love with the same girl. They both thrived for her attention but the girl only took a liking to one of the brothers. The one brother was good and he knew right from wrong when the other was just impulsive, and in other words, a monster."

"She loved the good one?"

"Yes. She is madly in love with him and even though she's never said it out loud, she knows just how much the bad brother loves her."

"Why's he so bad?"

"He a mean, no good person. But in the end the girl becomes friends with him, even though they have their rough days." Elena snuggled in to me which made my train of thought falter for only a second. "The friendship only hurt the bad brother even more, as he had to face what could never be his, every day of his life. He had to keep her at a distance because his love would destroy him, so everyday he hoped that the love in his heart would just burn out. It never happened it only got stronger and stronger in till it was just too much to bare and he snapped. He found out that his brother and her were getting married and it was all down hill from there."

"What happened?"

"Well, the good brother and the girl will get married. The bad brother will exceed to his reputation and struggle to be her friend for the rest of eternity."

"That was the worst story ever!" Elena sat up and glared at me. "She was supposed to end up with the bad brother! It's logical, it's how these stories work!"

"And how exactly is it supposed to end?"

"I'll finish the story because I'm the only one here who knows how it was supposed to go." She sat back down in her position from before and got comfortable. "Okay, before the good brother and girl... we should name the girl."

"What should her name be?"

"The girl can be named... Katherine."

"Oh god..."

"What? I've always liked that name." Of course she did. The irony was going to kill me. "Katherine was going to marry the good one but she couldn't deny her connection with the other brother. He was her friend and she she could change him. If he was so bad, then she obviously knew his week spots, to have him fall for her. In a way they were meant for each other. They evened each other out. And the day she was to be married she called it off because she couldn't live a lie. She was well aware of love the brother held for her. And she thought she knew where her heart was but she couldn't deny it any longer."

"And what was she denying?"

"She loved him too. More than what she wanted to admit." There was a long silence after that as we both thought over her version of the story. It would be nice to have some truth to it, but there wasn't. It was unrealistic and the kind of stories you tell to little kids before they go to sleep at night, or in this case a hopeless romantic teenager.

"My version was more realistic."

"Not necessary. I always believe if a love is strong enough, impossible things become possible."

"A little too optimistic for my taste." I watched her roll her eyes at me.

"Of course you would say that. Have you ever been in love Damon?" I had to look away from her because I was afraid to answer. What was I supposed to say, yes?

"Nobody wants to be in love." I mumbled and looked down at her again.

"That's not true. I'd like to believe I've been in love and it's not so bad."

"Oh really? Are you happy with how things have worked out? Is it what you want?"

"Not necessarily, but it's not too bad."

"But it's not what you want. And lets be honest when you are rational you are upset about it. You don't want to be in love as much as I do."

"You see, this is why it's so hard having a guy for a best friend. You are way too cynical. I'd like to believe everything would work out and I would be happy and I can't think that way around you."

"So you aren't happy?"

"How could I be happy when the guy I want doesn't want me?" I felt her stiffen at her words and could tell she didn't mean to say them. I didn't really understand. Who was she talking about? Stefan wants her. If she wasn't talking about Stefan then... it wasn't me. It couldn't be me. "I'm sorry." She mumbled and I don't think she eve knew what she was apologizing for.

"Don't be. You could say I've been there once or twice before as well."

"Damon?" She leaned up on her elbows and looked down at me. "I know things go from being awkward to being extremely comfortable around each other but just promise me one thing."

"What is that?"

"You will always be around. You'll always be my best friend."

"Of course Elena. I wouldn't have anything, if I didn't have you." I laughed at the ridiculousness of her not being my friend anymore. I was absolutely positive that our friendship would last in this world, and now in the real world. Because now I knew what it was like to be close with her, and I could never go back to before.

_**AN: I hoped you liked it even though it was kind of short. I love how so many of you knew the Dane Cook reference last chapter.**_

_**Review:) **_


	6. You're gonna lose what you love the most

_**I'm waiting for that final moment  
>You say the words that I can't say<br>I feel fine and I feel good  
>I'm feeling like I never should<br>Whenever I get this way  
>I just don't know what to say <strong>_

_**Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order **_

Elena lightly snored next to me and I couldn't help but watch her sleep. She was so innocent it was almost heartbreaking. She slept with a small smile playing at her lips that I've never seen before. I realized it was because Elena was generally happy here. She had a future, she thought she was going to go to school, get married, have babies, and then die when she was old and actually lived her life. How could that not be enough to be happy? I didn't really understand till now that Elena doesn't have that anymore. She doesn't have that future that could make her happy again. I'd do anything to give that back to her. Maybe if she had a choice, she wouldn't be forcing herself to get married.

"You know how much I hate when you stare at me." I heard Elena mumble as she still appeared to be fast asleep. "It's creepy." She said while finally opening her eyes.

"It's hard not to when you are so beautiful."

"I hope this isn't the first time you are noticing." She said while grinning and leaning up on her elbows. "What time is it?" I watched her suddenly grow a little worried which confused me.

"It's almost eight."

"Eight! Stefan is going to kill me! So much for just a quick nap." She jumped from the bed and ran into my bathroom to fix her hair.

"What? Why Stefan?" I grew angry at her suddenly not being in my bed. I kind of liked the relaxed moment between the two of us.

"We had a date at seven! How could you let me sleep so long?"

"I'm sorry that I didn't check your calendar and wake you up in time for the date I had no idea about."

"Stop snarling." She said in a simple tone not even looking in my direction. I didn't even realize that I was in fact snarling, when she didn't even have to glance in my direction to know. She walked out of the bathroom in a hurry, clearly heading for my bedroom door.

"Wait." I said while quickly jumping off the bed and grabbing her arm. "I don't want you to go."

"Cus you're gonna miss me?" She flashed a smug grin at me.

"Yes, exactly."

"You can handle it."

"I don't like you very much." I said while letting go of her hand.

"Duh, that's because you love me." She gave me a look like it was obvious as she made her way out of my room. I followed her down the stairs, still not liking the fact that in my week with her, she was still going with Stefan. "'I'll be back before you know it." She said it in a tone that a mother tells their kid before leaving them with a babysitter. I didn't like it because she did it on purpose.

"Fine, leave me by my lonesome but, when I find someone else to entertain me, don't be jealous."

"Oh, please. No one can entertain you like I can." She started walking towards the door and pulled our her phone. Probably to call Stefan. I was right when I listened to her talk and explain what happened. I didn't want her leaving. I was admittedly jealous that Stefan still took some of her time away from me. "Okay, I have to go." She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek quick. I have to say, I liked hello and goodbye hugs now.

"Hope you have miserable time."

"I'll try to. Don't think about me too much."

"Can't promise anything." I said while shoving her out the door. Once she was finally out, I let the snarl I've been suppressing appear again. I hated this. I don't know why but I believed I had a claim on her in this world, even if they were still dating. I mean Stefan... gross. Am I destined to always be in a fucking love triangle?

I eyed the bourbon that was somewhat in the same place I would usually keep it but there was a significant amount of more alcohol in the bottles. It was tempting but I decided against it. I was human, who knows what could happen? I would probably end up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning because I had no idea what portion control was. I didn't even know how much could could get a normal person tipsy but I didn't really want to get so shitfaced I end up puking my brains out and ruin the idea of my favorite alcohol for the rest of my existence. Hey... another human thing, I was becoming rational.

I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes trying not to think of the date between Stefan and Elena. Times like this is where I wished I was a vampire again. It was a lot easier to block out these thoughts that way. I watched the clock closely as the time ticked away and what felt like hours only turned out to be five minutes. Longest five minutes of my life. I contemplated going to spy on their date, wondering how exactly that would go. I knew if I actually tried this I would be discovered. I mean, if they were at the movies I'd be the creep in the baseball hate sitting directly behind them, watching everything but the movie. And lets face it, if they tried to kiss I wouldn't be able to resist putting my feet up right in between there faces. I just couldn't do it.

The things this girl does to me! It' crazy. I had to get out of the house before my thoughts seriously messed me up... even more.

For the rest of the night I waked around the town comparing this version to the other one. I even thought about going to the Grill but the thought of maybe running into Stefan and Elena, kept me away. There was even a big town event tonight that I considered but it probably wouldn't be the best idea running into people that I had to pretend to know. Or the fact that Caroline was probably there.

I ended up wandering back to the house and found Stefan's car in the drive way. I picked up my pace and walked in, excited to see Elena. Not too keen on the Stefan part thought. I burst into the boarding house, almost directly walking into Elena.

"Oh hey, we were wondering where you were."

"Where are you going?" I asked, noticing she had her coat on and Stefan had his keys in his hand.

"Stefan was going to take me home. We've been hanging around here for a while."

"I'll take you."

"No, it's fine, Damon." Stefan said while casting a glance that he really didn't want me to.

"I actually really need to talk to you." I said to Elena, completely ignoring Stefan. I could care less about him.

"Okay, I don't care if you take me home." She walked past me, out the door. Stefan gave a me look that I just smirked to while following Elena. We drove off and I ended up deliberately going to the long way. "What did you do tonight? Elena said while looking out her window.

"Same old, same old." I mumbled while glancing at her. I had some things I wanted to say but I've never approached a situation like this. One part of me just wanted to dive into the conversation and the other wanted to just forget about it all together.

"Just come out with it."

"What?" I said, taken completely off guard.

"Best friend. Remember?" She turned towards me, not taking her eyes off me for a second. "You can say what you want to say to me."

"Have you ever thought about us?"

"Us?"

"As in, you and me. Damon and Elena." I kept my eyes on the road, feeling a little too intimidated to look at her.

"I'm not sure where you are getting at?"

"Well, we've been friends since we were little kids. Have you ever thought maybe..."

"Damon we've already had this conversation. Remember how it played out last time?"

"No." I said but as the words fell from my mouth I knew they were wrong. I couldn't remember every detail but I knew we talked this out before. We even tried to kiss, to see what would happen. Apparently Elena must have felt more in the kiss than I did, as there was clearly tension between us. I was just young and I didn't know what I wanted in this world yet. I wanted Elena to understand that the human me just needed time. I knew that. I could feel it.

"Yes you do. We both know that it wouldn't work out."

"I don't think that is true. I think I was just... scared. But I'm feeling like if we gave it a go, there could be something really special. We could be special."

"Damon, you do this all the time. When you aren't getting attention, you crave it. I don't want this to be us. I don't want us to tip toe around each other. You are my best friend and I can't loose that. Don't take it away from me."

"I'm not going to take that away from you, if you haven't noticed you are all I have, as well. "

"And that's exactly why we have to stop these conversations. I've already admitted that I was hurt about the recent events that have occurred and I know that makes things a little awkward but Damon... talking about this, is just going to hurt me more."

"So I can't tell you that maybe I want something more from you? It's not that far fetched."

"It was to you a couple days ago." She sounded so exasperated and I felt guilty, again. "We were meant to be friends."

"What if I don't want to be just friends."

"You don't know what you want." She rolled her eyes at me as I finally came to a stop in front of her house. "I swear Damon, you change your mind more than any other person I know. You think I would be used to it by now. "

"I'm just wasting my time trying to talk sense to you."

"Damon, I don't know what to think. Sometimes you speak your mind without a second thought. I have to be the one to think of the consequences, because you can't do it yourself. I'm protecting us, I'm protecting you."

"We were never meant to be friends Elena. You know it, and so do I. "

"I should go." She mumbled while glancing out the window to her house. It pissed me off that she wanted to run away from this.

"Then leave Elena. Get out, because you clearly can't face the truth."

"Stop! Stop doing this. You are putting our friendship to the test and all it's going to do is rip us in two." She gave me a sympathetic look and put her hand on my cheek. "I get it. I was confused too. But tomorrow when you are more rational you'll be thankful that you have an out. I know you, trust me. I'm not going to let you get yourself into something you may not want tomorrow." She thinks I'll change my mind... With that she got out of the car, leaving without another word.

I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with her tonight. It was useless, but I was going to keep trying. Tomorrow and the next day, and the next. I was going to have her at least once. Problem is, I only have four days left.

**_AN: Thanks for reading and sorry for the long wait. I hope you all liked this chapter. I forgot to mention this, but the whole time Damon is in the human world or whatever, it will be his POV and I might add Elena when he gets back to the real world. A lot of people have been asking how it will affect everyone in the real world, the only thing I can say is that things wont be the same between Damon and Elena after this. For reasons, you will find out. _**

**_Review:)_**


	7. This whole life is a hallucination

_** I was praying that you and me might end up together  
>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert<br>But I'm holding you closer than most  
>Cause you are my heaven.<br>I don't wanna waste the weekend  
>If you don't love me, pretend a few more hours<br>Then it's time to go**_

_**Ron Pope - A Drop In The Ocean**_

I walked down the stairs of the boarding house with a huge elaborate plan on how to convince Elena I was serious about whatever was happening between us. I didn't want all the past things I once said to take away all that I've ever wanted. I was dead set on it now, but it would be harder from all the pushing away, the past me did.

"Hey, Stefan I'm-" I literately lost the rest of the air in my lungs to finish my sentence when I came across the scene in my living room. Oh, no, no no! This could not be happening. "What the hell is this?" I yelled at Stefan.

There was a young girl, who probably went to school with Stefan and Elena sitting on my couch. Her lips were swollen as she just pried herself away from my brothers face. How could he do this to Elena! What... This couldn't' be happening! This wasn't part of the perfect world for Elena.

"Hey, Damon." The girl said completely nonchalant as she looked at me. Stefan gave me a confused look as to why I was freaking out.

"Who are you and why are you in my house?"

"Damon stop talking to Dana like that!" Oh my god... I knew her. I knew about this... And I didn't tell Elena!

"Oh, fuck." I backed up away from the two with my hands in my hair, trying to wrap my brain around this all. How could Stefan... how could I betray Elena like that! I felt horrible, to the point that I felt like I could actually get sick at any moment. Here I was trying to win her over and I was her best friend letting this happen! "Will you please unhinge your body parts from each other and Dana... get out of my house!" I watched as the girl stood up throwing Stefan and I both a weird glance as she made her way out the door.

"Damon what is your problem?"

"You little asshole!" I chucked a book that was sitting on the table next to me, right at his face. "What if Elena saw this? It would kill her!"

"Yea, sure it would." He said sarcastically and it almost felt like I was going to kill him with frustration. I had to keep reminding myself he was just a kid. He was in his stage where this was okay. But I still wanted to strangle him till he passed out.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We both know how things are Damon! She is practically cheating on me as well." Stefan stood up from the couch suddenly defensive. "She may not be physically cheating on me, but she is mentally. And you know that."

"Are you intending I am somehow in this mess?" I asked shocked at his tone towards me.

"You are the mess!"

"I'm not the one with my tongue shoved down some other girls throat when I have a girlfriend!"

"Yea, your just the one who steals hearts away." How in world was I the bad guy in this situation? "And it gets even better, you don't even want her!" Stefan was pushing me to my edge and I didn't have much resolve left to control myself. "It's her fault that this all took place." That's all it took me to snap as I unconsciously punched Stefan right in the jaw. I was satisfied when he fell backwards onto the floor holding his face.

"Oh god, that hurts more then I thought." I said while shaking off my hand. I felt a smile appear on my face and he rolled around on the floor. I suddenly remembered my plans to win back Elena and started walking towards the door of the boarding house.

"Where are you going?" I heard Stefan yell from behind me. "You are going to walk away!"

"I'm going mini golfing!" I screamed and then left the house.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you are actually doing this." Elena said while picking out the color of her golf ball.<p>

"I promised I would."

"You promise a lot of things." She said while happily picking out a pink ball and walking over to the first hole. The whole place was pirate themed and I couldn't even wrap my brain around the thought that I of all people was here.

"Do you want to make a bet on who will win?" She said innocently as if she already knew she was going to lose. "Whoever loses has to buy ice cream."

"Deal." I knew I would be paying for the ice cream no matter who actually lost. It's just how it goes.

"Now, I've never actually done this before."

"It's not that complicated." I stepped backward, away from her and tried not to laugh as she was doing all the wrong things. She took a big swing and if I wasn't paying attention the ball would of hit me.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!": She said as she saw me jump out of the way.

"Elena we aren't at a driving range... It's called mini golf for a reason. You could have seriously damaged my face."

"Oh the horror! But it is true, I'm no Tiger Woods." She ran over and quickly grabbed her ball that was stopped by a bush.

"I'd say so."

"Well... why don't you teach me?" She gave me a devilish smile that I wasn't quite used to on her. But I liked it. I stepped behind her and nudged her feet with my own so they were shoulder length apart. I then pushed all her hair off her left shoulder so I could whisper in her ear.

"All you have to do is gently hit the ball." I said while wrapping my arms around her and teaching her how to correctly hold the club and hit the ball. I helped her hit the ball and we watched as it smoothly went into the hole. "Very good." I whispered again.

"You just gave me tingles." She said while she physically tried to shake them off.

"Good or bad?" I stepped away from her, keeping our distance.

"The good kind of tingles."

"I give every girl tingles." I said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"So I'm like every girl?" She said in a playful tone but I could tell she didn't like the comparison.

"No."

"How so?" She asked while we moved on to the next hole.

"Because you aren't any girl, you are my girl."

"Your girl?" She gave me a daring look and went to hit her ball.

"You know what I mean. "

"Sure I do." She said with a chuckle and then perfectly hit her golf ball directly in the hole with ease. I gave her a suspicious look and she just smiled at me. "So, I may have played a few times."

"Wait, a minute." Her smile never faded as she waited. "Are you trying to hustle me?"

"Now what would give you that idea?"

"It is officially on!" I dropped my own ball down, ready to take my turn. "If you think I'm going to let you win this, you are highly mistaken."

"Oh, I'm so scared by the big bad golfing Damon." She snickered at me watched as the gold ball rolled right into the hole.

"You should be darling." I winked at her and couldn't help but notice the redness in her cheeks.

* * *

><p>After a hour of a competitive game, it was in fact me losing as I didn't hear the end of it, the whole way to the ice cream parlor.<p>

"Alright, alright. I get it. You are the mini golf master." I said sarcastically while sitting down on a bench with our ice cream.

"Thank you for finally acknowledging that." The sun was slowly setting and aiming right at us and it was nice for once to feel that warmth without any worry. "Today was a good day." Elena sighed while licking her ice cream cone.

"It was pretty good." I looked up down at her, with the sun hitting her face in the most beautiful and couldn't help but wonder how in the world Stefan could be cheating on her... How as I going to tell her? I wanted her to have a good day, so my plan to tell her now went out the window. I didn't want every day to have a falling out between us and then go back to pretending it never happened, even if the tension was nonexistent at times. I broke from own thoughts to see Elena looking at the sunset, clearly thinking hard about something as well. For just once, I'd love to get in her head.

I was suddenly taking my ice cream and scraped it across her cheek, trying to get her attention.

"Where were you?" .

"Sorry, I was thinking about something." Once it finally hit her exactly what I did, she immediately retaliated and swiped her own ice cream onto my cheek.

"You did not just do that." I said with my eyes closed. When I opened them I saw a big grin on her face. Without thinking, I grabbed onto her face and licked off the ice cream I just put there.

"Ew! Damon!" She said in between giggles as she quickly whipped off her cheek.

"You taste good." That only made her start laughing even harder.

"I'm sticky now."

"Well I tried helping." I took a napkin and whipped off the ice cream on my face.

"Thanks for taking me out today. What all brought it on?"

"I have to have a reason for hanging out with my best friend now?"

"We both know you always have other motivations." She said while rolling her eyes.

"Well, last night I did practically beg you to give us a shot."

"Oh." She said simply while looking away. It was clear she didn't like these conversations.

"Don't worry. I get that you don't want that."

"I never said that." She said quickly and I quirked an eyebrow at her with an 'oh really?' look. "I didn't, cause that would be a lie." I was about to say something back when Elena's phone start ringing, cutting me off. I watched as she took out her phone and looked at it. "Stefan is texting me. He's asking when we will be back."

"I'm sure he is." He probably think I told her, which I fully intended to do.

"We should get going." She slid off the bench and walked towards my car as I watched her. And here I thought we were about to have our defining moment.

_**AN: I hope you liked it:) **_

_**Review! **_


	8. There's more here to be seen

_** "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever"**_

_**-Winnie the Pooh**_

Two days. That was it. All the time that I thought I had, had just vanished. It literately flew by and I couldn't believe I let it. Wasn't I supposed to embrace this opportunity? Wasn't I supposed to do, whatever the hell I wanted, just for the simple fact that I could. The thought that I fucked up and wasted an one in a lifetime chance, was eating me alive. I spent all yesterday figuring out what I was exactly going to do about the Stefan thing, without even thinking about the time I was wasting.

And here I was, waiting for Elena to come meet me. I was waiting on her porch, now that I finally decided if I was going to make her mine, I would have to be able to take her. Even if it was for only a day, a hour, or five minutes, I wanted to be able to say that she was mine. I wanted to be able to support the fact that, in a different lifetime, she was meant for me.

"You know you could have just came in." Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize the door had opened and Elena was patiently waiting inside. She motioned for me to come in, but I shook my head.

"Lets go for a walk."

"Okay." She said hesitantly as she stepped outside. "Why didn't you call me back? I was trying to get a hold of you all yesterday."

"I know I just had some thinking to do."

"What about?"

"You." I said while sighing and she eyed me suspiciously.

"And why do I take that as not being a good thing?"

"It's not." I said as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Okay, what is going on?" She stepped directly in front of me, stopping me from walking and forcing me to look at her.

"It's about Stefan." Her determined look to keep eye contact suddenly faded as her head dropped down and she stared at her feet. I was confused by the action, it was as if she knew exactly what I was going to say.

"What about him?" She whispered. I looked at her suspiciously. The way she was acting was off and I couldn't help but wonder if she knew already.

"You already know, don't you?"

"Know what?" She suddenly looked back up at me with a completely different facial expression.

"That Stefan's been cheating on you."

"Yea." She muttered after a long moment of her fidgeting with her hands and looking everywhere but me. "I also know, that you've known for a long time to." It seemed that fact upset her more than Stefan cheating, which I didn't understand.

"I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want to be the one to hurt you."

"Stefan's the one who hurt me, you wouldn't have, but not telling me did." I only knew for a day, but I still felt guilty.

"I'm telling you now." I added. "I hope that will be enough for you not to be mad."

"I'm not mad, I never was. I was just purely disappointed, that's all." Those words stung. It never mattered if it came from your mother, your best friend or your girlfriend, the disappointed line, always had a bitter feeling attached to it.

"I'm sorry. It won't happened again."

"Just don't keep stuff from me."

"I wont." I suddenly snapped back into reality when I realized, she knew and she was still with Stefan. "Okay, now it's your turn to explain."

"Explain what?" She said slightly clueless. "Oh, that." She said after I gave her a look. "I'm not blind, Damon. It not too hard to figure out when someone is cheating on you. Especially when they don't try hard to hide it."

"How long have you known."

"Just a couple weeks now." She turned and started walking down the sidewalk again, with me following at her side.

"How are you still with him?" I asked while only slightly angry at her.

"I was really upset when I first found out. I mean, betrayal is betrayal. I spent the first couple days pondering over the solutions and why he would do that to me."

"And then..."

"And then I put the pieces together on why he did it. I'm not...all the way there with Stefan. He's just the now and I don't see him being in my future. I don't see us having one. And I guess I never fully committed to him so how can I blame him for not fully committing to me."

"He is still cheating on you though. He's making you look like a fool." Is everyone in this world also insane?

"I just haven't found the time to actually end things and actually talk about it with him. I still care about Stefan and I know he cares about me, so there's never was a good time."

"This doesn't make any sense."

"Alright, maybe I've been putting it off." Finally, something was starting to make sense. "I thought if I brought up his cheating, he would bring up stuff about me. I wasn't ready to discuss that with your brother."

"Discuss what, exactly?" It felt like she was talking in riddles. Why couldn't she just spit out straight forward answers.

"Uh, there's..." She looked clearly uncomfortable. "I guess you can say there is someone else and he knows it."

"Oh, well that explains a few things." I said while laughing. "Okay, so who is the guy?" I somewhat felt like a teenage girl, but I didn't care. I really wanted to know who this guy is.

"It's nobody." She shrugged it off but I wasn't going to let that slide.

"No, seriously! I feel stupid, I've been trying to win you over and here there is this whole other person I didn't even know about. It's only fair."

"How about we just drop it." She was trying to make it sound lighthearted but she obviously wanted to change the subject desperately, which I wasn't having.

"Do I have to set some ground rules with the guy? If he breaks your heart, I'll break his face. Is it that Tyler Lockwood kid? Or that guy Matt?"

"No, it's not any of those." She said with a laugh as she pushed on my shoulder. "The irony is killing me right now!"

"What?" It was like on cue, the space between us filled with tension.

"Just stop. Seriously, you are annoying me." The seriousness settled in and all it did was make me more bewildered.

"Why wont you tell me? I would tell you."

"Because it's you, you idiot!" She suddenly snapped and we both stopped walking. "I've been in love with you since middle school, you bonehead!" I don't even think she noticed that she started hitting my chest in frustration as she just kept going on.

"Okay, stop beating me." I said while grabbing onto her wrists and holding them together.

"Sorry." She said a little breathless and blew the hair that brushed in front of her eyes, out of the way. "You are just driving me crazy, you big piece of eye candy!"

"Stop calling me names."

"I'll call you whatever I want." She said while calming down.

"Now lets talk abo-"

"Oh my god, I can't believe I just told you that!" She cut me off and completely took me off guard as she buried her face in her hands. "I'm so stupid." I watched as her actions finally settled in and suddenly she turned around and started walking back to her house. I had to chase after her as she was already a few feet in front of me.

"Come back here!" She turned around and glanced at me with the most horrified expression on her face and picked up her speed. "What are you doing?" I asked as she was speed walking away from me. I picked up my speed and she kept glancing back at me as I got closer. "What are you going to do, run away?" As I was talking, she did just that and bolted down the sidewalk at full speed. "Don't do that!" I yelled while I started jogging after her. I wasn't in the shape for this. As a vampire everything was just natural, this was not. "Stop running away from me!" I gasped out as she just ignored me and turned up the pathway to her house. With a sudden burst of speed from desperation, I caught up to her right as she was fumbling with the door.

"Noooo." She said while trying to open the door but I trapped her with my arms.

"Now... just... hold on while I catch my... breath."

"Damon, I think it's time you took up some sort of cardio." I was taking deep breaths as she looked at me with worry. "Seriously, we only ran like two blocks, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Umm... I'll go get you some water." She said slowly as she crept to the door and opened it while almost slamming it in my face before I got the strength to catch the door.

"Nice try." I said, while finally being able to breath again. "What the hell was that?"

"I was trying to get away from you."

"Obviously..."

"I'm embarrassed, go away!"

"It's me. Why would you be embarrassed with me?" I tried reading her but she kept trying to close up. She suddenly bolted up the stairs, heading for the room. "Stop doing that." I yelled after her as I went right with her up the stairs. Once we got to her room she tried shutting the door but I was already there. "Since when do you run away from things?" I said while I finally grabbed a hold of her as she was trying to climb across her bed, over to the window. I grabbed on to her ankle and pulled her back while I pinned her against the bed.

"Okay, okay." She said as she stopped squirming under me. "Will you please, go and save me from the-"

"Shut up." I whispered. "This whole wild-goose chase could have been avoided if you just let me get a few words out."

"But those words are only going to ruin our f-"

Before her doubts could get the best of her I reacted the only way I knew how. I quickly placed my lips on hers in the gentlest way I knew how and stopped the words from coming out of her mouth. When I pulled away I saw that her eyes were squeezed shut as she refused to open them.

"Elena?" I whispered and waited for her to open her eyes.

"Did you just..."

"Yea."

"Do you regret it, this time?" Was this why she was freaking out?

"No." After that she finally opened her eyes and stared right up at me.

"You really mean that?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." A smiled spread across her face, which was contagious.

"Good." She leaned up and gave me a quick peck on then went back to her original place. "Will you got to Stefan's football game with me tomorrow?"

"If you want me to." There was a feeling in the pit in my stomach which, I haven't felt in years. I now knew that my last day as a human, will probably be my best.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait, I was having computer issues. I hope you liked this chapter, next one is the last chapter before Damon goes back. :) **_

_**Okay, so I know I'm a little late but OMG I loved the season finale. There were some things that kind of annoyed me though, like the fact that Katherine was able to walk into the boarding house, when she wasn't invited and same thing with Stefan with Alaric's place. **_

_**And that kiss! Yea, it was a goodbye kiss but it was still a freaking kiss! **_

_**Sorry if I am that a-hole that ruins the surprise, but I couldn't help myself. **_

_**Review! **_


	9. My world is crumbling

_**Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.**_

_**Rose Franken**_

"Damaroni!" I heard Elena calling from the bottom of the steps at the boarding house.

"Elenipoo?" We both gave each other an odd look as I got to the end of the stairs.

"Lets not..." I could feel that our faces had the same expression, as if we both drank sour milk.

"Those names were almost painful."

"I know, we are so gross." She said while taking my hand and leading me to the door. "The game already started. We are probably only going to make it for the second half."

"Woah, did you feel that?" I asked as a sudden chill went over my whole body.

"Feel what?" She said as we walked through the door.

"Nothing." I said as the feeling was suddenly gone.

We left for the school and when we got there we still walked hand-in-hand, not even caring of how it looked. Which probably wasn't the best idea, as she was still technically Stefan's. We didn't make anything official. We didn't even talk about what happened between us, we just held hands and when we were alone stole secret kisses but that's all. Nothing more and nothing less. It was just the beginning but it was all I would get, and I didn't mind one bit. Hell, I'd be happy if this was my life forever. I had the best life someone could ask for here. Or at least, all that I could ask for. Sure I didn't have a family, I only had Stefan and Elena. But Stefan and I were truly brothers here. Elena was my friend and my something more. Realistically I didn't deserve it. It was the simplest things in life to ask for, that I would never get.

The game already started as we made our way to an empty spot on the bleachers. Who would have ever thought I'd be at a football game, actually to watch the game.

"Where is Stefan?" I asked as Elena was looking around.

"He's number 12." I glanced around and finally saw him. So Stefan was a quarterback... figures. The familiar chill went over me and I did my best to distract myself. I didn't want to think about the inevitable right now.

"You know, he learned everything he knows from me." I said while trying to focus my thoughts on something else. I absentmindedly let go of Elena's hand as I tried to rub my arms, looking for some sort of heat.

"I still think you should have played in high school." She muttered with a little grin.

As the game went by I had to explain little things about what they were doing and how the points worked to Elena as she tried to keep up. I figured she would know more about football since she was a cheerleader but she was still struggling. I was watching Elena more then the game and I probably looked like a love struck fool with a giant ass grin on my face.

"Oh my god, the suspense is killing me!" I broke from my stare and looked back to the game to see what was so nerve-racking. I suddenly realized that the game was almost over and Stefan's team was losing by just a couple of points. "They only have one play left." I turned back to her to see how into the game she now was. Probably because she understood it now.

"Come on Stefan!" She yelled clearly anxious.

"You are so cute right now." I whispered in her ear. I heard a whistle blow but I just watched Elena. And then there was a huge burst of people cheering. I looked back to the game to see Stefan just scored a touchdown, having them win the game by a few points.

"They won!" She sequined and nearly jumped in my arms.

"Yea, Stefan!" I said while cheering with everyone else. And the sudden wave of sickness came over me as I realized I just cheered for my brother.

"That was so good!" She grabbed my hand, still in a good mood and then suddenly gasped while dropping me hand. "Oh my god, Damon you are freezing." She then grabbed my hand again with a tiny look of worry. She then tried to warm my hand up between hers, using the friction for heat. "Lets go back to your place so we can... heat up." She gave me a wink and I didn't need to be told twice.

The whole way back to the boarding house the constant chill didn't disappear but I wasn't freakking out as I probably should be. I just took it as a sign that the time limit I have been dreading is coming to an end. But I wasn't going to leave without saying some things to her. I needed to tell Elena how I felt, even if it was only in this world, she needed to know.

Once we finally entered the house I felt her jump up onto my back as I carried her to the stairs.

"Take me to your sleeping quarters Mr. Salvatore." We went up the stairs and I ended up flopping her down across my bed. "It was so cute how you were all proud of Stefan and 'yea, that's my little brother' tonight."

"I was not like that!" I said while laying down next to her.

"You so were. I saw it on your face."

"You're silly." I said while shaking my head and laughing.

"And you are sentimental big brother that just loves his wittle baby brother." She said in a baby voice while mocking me.

"Oh, you take that back!"

"Are you going to make me?"

"Yes." I said as a matter of fact. She gave me a daring look and then was suddenly on off the bed on the other side of the room.

"Oh really?" She said as I slowly got off the bed and walked around towards her. Right as I got near her she playfully screamed and jumped on the bed crawling over it and almost made it across before I grabbed a hold of her and threw her back down on the bed. She then unexpectedly pulled me down on top of her.

I held her arms in place and hovered above her. Her laughter faded and we both just stared at each other, the moment suddenly shifting. I don't know when the mood changed but it went from giggles to a serious moment we were both avoiding. I didn't want to put myself through this. I was trying to protect myself, because I knew how bad I wanted this. But now here I was with my lips just hovering above hers and my resolve was completely gone. I didn't even get a chance to think before her little body arched into mine and her soft lips connected with my kiss was bittersweet knowing that this was the closest to heaven I'll ever get and probably the last time I'll ever kiss Elena. I'd bet it all that this very moment, will ruin everything for me. I'll become even more bitter, because I know, I'll never have this again.

"Stop thinking so much." She placed another quick peck on my lips and leaned her head back down. "I know you want it." I did. I wanted it so bad. I wanted it more than anything in this world. I could go without breathing before I went without her. I placed my hand on her cheek and finally looked back into her eyes, which I've been avoiding.

"I want you..." I managed to get out and it sounded more like a plea for her than a statement. "I've never felt that desire burn for someone so deep, the way it does for you."

"Damon..." I could tell it was all she could manage. In this world, I didn't love her. Human me, didn't even see what was right in front of my face. Those big brown eyes just looked at me with doubt, like she didn't believe me.

"I love you Elena." I leaned down and kissed her quick and pulled away. "So much more than is good for me. And it hurts. Its hurts how much I love you."

"How does it hurt?" She whispered and looked up at me with such wide eyes.

"Cause you'll never love me back." I gasped out and felt my resolve break. It was like the small barrier that held me back finally broke and everything crashed down on me. This whole experience, everything I've managed to fuck up, and all the pain I've been hiding, it all just unloaded on me. "I'll never have you, I'll never be able to keep you cause I'm not good. I'm not good for you and my love for you takes over and makes me irrational, it isn't good for me either. I won't let you love me."

"There is no possible way, that you could stop me from loving you."

"There are ways that you can't even imagine. I do unimaginable things and I'll hurt you. I don't deserve even the allusion of you loving me."

"Hey!" She grabbed a hold of my face, forcing me to look her in the eyes. "Don't you ever think something can break what we have. Don't you ever second guess it. I love you. I love the good and I even manage to love the worst in you. And the only thing that I can ask from you, is to let me love you. That would be enough to keep me happy forever. You make me happy, don't take that away."

"I do want you to be happy." I whispered. The idea that I brought her happiness, not only pain was so foreign to me.

"Do I make you happy?" She whispered back as her hands dropped from my face, searching for my own. I simply nodded and she smiled up at me. "Let's just be happy together. That will enough, for both of us." I closed my eyes and let the single tear fall down my cheek. Her comforting helped, even when what she was saying didn't matter.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, how much I wanted you." I knew our time was almost over, and it was worse because in this moment I felt we grew closer. "And I'm sorry but this may be goodbye." I said as I felt the chill I've experienced worsen.

"What? I don't understand." She mumbled as I looked down at my hand and noticed my skin was slowly turning a light blue as I entwined our fingers together.

I gave her one last and final kiss when the piercing pain started to make its way into my head. It started out as a mere flicker, then it just engulfed me and I couldn't see anything but white. The thing that hurt the most was that this was the end of what we've been through. Everything we had, is over now. "Damon!" I heard a cry but the only thing I could now focus on were the colors that flashed before my eyes and constant pain. I took a deep breath and tried pushing it out of my chest till there was nothing left. I squeezed my eyes shut and cold familiar feeling wrapped around me. I blinked my eyes one last time and the last thing I could see were panicked brown eyes above me.

_**AN: I just wanted to say thanks for all your reviews. I can't wait for next chapter:) I already said this but I'll say it again, things will be different when Damon gets back. Don't worry. **_

_**Review:)**_


	10. And I never felt so alive, and so dead

_**I'm gonna drink myself to death  
>And in the crowd<br>I see you with someone else,  
>I brace myself,<br>Cause I know it's going to hurt,  
>But I like to think at least things can't get any worse.<strong>_

_**-Hurricane Drunk by Florence And The Machine **_

With a sudden gasp for breath I opened my eyes to the familiar darkness. I took a couple deep breaths as I sorted things out through my head, after that I just wanted to shut my eyes and pretend I wasn't here. That I wasn't alone in a room and maybe if I concentrated enough, I'll return to Elena. When I heard voices downstairs my concentration was shot and I knew I was me again. I didn't want to be a vampire at this very moment. I didn't want all the powers I has missed, right now I just wanted to pretend before it slipped away. But when I heard a familiar giggle, I was suddenly aware. That giggle was from my Elena. Well... not my Elena anymore. Could I do this? Could I manage to even look at her again, knowing what we once had? I don't know if I could bear it. I literately recoiled from the thought.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was lying in an uncomfortable position on my bathroom floor. I shifted up onto my elbows and didn't even bother to try to adjust my eyes to the light. No vampire powers for me yet, I wasn't ready. I could feel that I was wearing pants, I didn't even want to know how they got on. I stood up easily, still trying to adapt to having energy again. I made my way out of the bathroom over to the door of my room, forcing myself to get out of the darkness. I swear it took me hours to twist the doorknob.

The moment light hit my eyes I almost slammed the door shut. But then again I heard that voice and even if it was going to kill me I realized I had to see her. I went down the stairs slowly, making sure not to make a sound. When I reached the bottom of the steps and could see into the living room I almost gagged. Of course their faces would be glued together. I had to remember they were getting married here... they were in that stage. And I got the privilege to watch. If I had the ability to puke right now, I would. Just seeing them together made my heart ache in ways it never did before. I'm sure being staked hurt less than this right now. Actually, being staked was a pleasant thought compared to this. I had to hide it. I had to do what I did best before it ate me up to the point of no return.

"How's that puppy you ate yesterday, Stefan? Oh wait. I can ask Elena now. " I said, interrupting their make-out session. I surprised myself with the way it came out. I would have thought my voice would have cracked or I wouldn't have been able to shove out words at all.

"Damon!" The both yelled at the same time. That comment wasn't too hard. Maybe I will be able to get through this...

"Gross." I heard Elena mumbled and my smirk only widened when I saw her trying to discreetly wipe her mouth off.

"So you finally decided to come out of your room?" I turned my attention back to Stefan who was already over the situation.

"What?"

"You were in there for a week. What were you doing?"

"I..." I didn't know that the time would still be the same so I had no answer ready.

"Nevermind I don't think we want to know." I stood there not knowing what to say. I didn't want to look at Elena but when I did I found that she looked very uncomfortable. Her whole body was turned away from me and she didn't dare look in my direction. Now what did I do? There was a list of possibilities.

"Well I'll be back in a little bit, I just have to-"

"No!" Elena and I both cut Stefan off at the same time with the same panicked voice. I flashed a suspicious look at her. Just looking at Elena was painful, I couldn't be alone with her! But why was she freaking out to be alone with me? And why is there so much tension in this room.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or confused." Stefan mumbled while looking at both of us. "I'll be back soon, I promise." he backed away from us with the cautious look still on his face. "Please, don't kill each other while I'm gone." And then Stefan was out the door. What the hell? If it was possible the awkwardness of the situation got worse once he was gone. I wish I just knew why.

"I, um... " I searched for words to say but I was coming up blank. "Okay, what is going on?" I asked her flat out. She was still somewhat facing away from me on the couch and I really couldn't deal with this on top of everything. "What did I do wrong now?" I said while flopping down next to her, forcing her to accept my presence. I wanted to touch her so bad. I wanted to comfort her, but that would be crossing the line. I didn't want there to be a line. I didn't want the distance that will forever be there as long as I was in this fucked up world. I didn't want this...

"Who said you did anything? Who said there was something wrong? I didn't say anything was wrong? Do you think there is something wrong? Did you do something-"

"Whoa." I cut her off. "You are rambling. Why?"

"I do that when I'm nervous." She whispered. Why was she nervous?

"And you are nervous because..."

"No reason." See said a little too quickly.

"You just said you were-"

"I need a drink." She stood up from the couch before I could finished and walked over to my cabinet. Oh no no no. For the first time since I got back I sped over to the cabinet and stood in front of it before she could open it.

Her hand reached for the cabinet but I slapped it out of the way before she could open it. She gave me a pointed suborn look and tried again with the same outcome of me stopping her. All I wanted was some explanations. She wasn't getting any of alcohol unless she gave me answers. To tell you the truth I had no idea who was more stubborn her or me but the slapfest went on and on till I saw something change in her. It was no longer her persistent side, it was her curious one. Her hand came and hit mine in a familiar way and I easily complied, not even realizing we started doing the handshake that only human me and Elena knew. Once we were done with the handshake we both had confused masks on as we glared at each other. But of course, Elena ended up taking me by surprise. I felt the distant sting of the slap before I even realized what she did.

"I knew it!" She shouted at me and I was, for the first time in years, shocked into silence. What the hell was going on?

"Knew what?" I defended myself while holding my cheek. I wasn't the only one taken by surprise, I could see that in her eyes.

"Why did you do this? Was it because I'm getting married? Why Damon? Why did you do that to me? I trusted you!"

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything!"

"Sure you didn't! How else would you have known that!" She started backing away from me and marched towards the door. "I don't know how you did it! That was wrong Damon!" I don't think I've ever seen her so upset before. She finally got to the door and I thought she was going to run away but she suddenly stopped and turned to me with the most serious face I've ever seen. "Why Damon?"

"I don't know what you are talking about Elena!"

"You made it seem so... perfect." She said in a quiet voice and those eyes...she looked at me with such sad eyes and I wanted to know what I did. I wanted to fix it. "You are an asshole Damon. Just when I thought maybe you were misunderstood, you go and do something like this."

"Wait." I caught her arm before she could turn out the door. "You can't be mad at me for something I don't know about. At least tell me what I have to apologize for instead of yelling at me."

"You gave me those dreams!" She yelled in a whisper. "You mad me actually believe I was going crazy."

"Dreams?"

"Is it because we are getting married, Damon? Just tell me the truth, maybe it would be easier to understand that way."

"You had dreams for a week now?" I was slightly horrified, What if... No, she couldn't have...

"It was you. You were human, we were friends."

"Best friends." I added and she started to glare again.

"So you did do it?" She looked at me disgustingly and I didn't know whether to tell her the truth or not.

"No I didn't. I swear." I shut the front door before she could get out of it. "Elena, I think we need to talk about some things."

_**AN: I know it was short, but I didn't have much time to write. And I know that there are plenty of questions, and I'm sure they will be answered next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter:)**_

_**Review! **_


	11. At least things can't get any worse

_**And we should be together  
>But we're not<br>I play it off but I'm dreamin of you  
>I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.<br>I try to say goodbye and I choke  
>I try to walk away and I stumble<br>Though I try to hide it it's clear  
>My world crumbles when you are not near <strong>_

_**Macy Gray - I Try**_

We both stood in silence, looking everywhere but at each other. To say the tension could be cut with a knife is an understatement. I said some things that I never thought real Elena would hear and she with out a doubt was thinking about those things right now. I told her all about the other world but left some major details out.

"Are you sure we aren't both on crack or something?" She mumbled from the other end of the room. I explained what happened but I still don't think she understood. I wasn't going to explain that I was having a pity party and that's why the witch sent me there. I didn't want her to know how hurt I was inside when I found out she was getting married. I didn't want to face it.

"No." After a long pause and rethinking the situation, I spoke again. "At least I don't think so."

"I just don't understand. Why did this happen? And how? You don't just wake up in a different world."

"Yea... well I did." I purposely avoided talking about Bonnie's cousin. Can I at least have one secret? She gave me those eyes, the ones that dig into your soul. She knew I was hiding things.

"What did you do?" She said somewhat angrily. "You did something didn't you?"

"No." I sounded so guilty. She knew it, I knew it.

"Damon Salvatore don't make me come over there." She said with the scariest expression on her face. If there was one human that could scare me, it was her.

"Oh Elena, what would you do? Slap me? Stab me with little tooth picks? You can't hurt me so you might as well stop threatening me."

"You don't think I can hurt you?" She gave me an astound expression and crossed the little barrier we put between us.

"I'd like to see you try." I knew she could hurt me. Not physically, and she knew it too. I just wanted to know if she would go that far as to hurt me in other ways. She was standing right before me with a determined look on her face and with her mouth slightly open but no words came out. Her determined look turned into a conflicted one as she fought with herself.

"I'm not like you. I can't purposely hurt someone." She mumbled and slightly backed away from me.

"You don't want to hurt me?" I said, only catching on to that part.

"Why would I want to hurt you? We have a bond. And it is a lot stronger now. I felt it all through my dreams. I was there too and I know we can't just go back to before because whether we like it or not, we experienced what it was like to be friends. I liked it. I liked being your friend Damon. Friends don't hurt friends."

"We were friends before."

"Not even close to what it was like in that world." She intertwined our fingers together. "We could have that, if you wanted." She knew how miserable I had been. She just wanted to make up for it, I could see it in her eyes.

"No, we can't." I let go of her grasp. "We can never be like that!" I moved away from her and started walking out of the living room.

"Don't be mad!" She screamed after me and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What makes you think I'm mad Elena? Because I can't be around you? Because I need a break from you?"

"Damon stop! I know you. I know how you have this rage that comes from an endless feeling of loneliness. Why wont you let me fill that?"

"You really want to know why Elena?" I was now mad. I was raising my voice and the expression on her face showed she wasn't scared to fight back.

"I can't be around you! Not after what happened. How can you not see that it's killing me? I wasn't prepared for this!" I never thought it would hurt so bad seeing her again. And I wasn't afraid to admit my pain to her anymore. We crossed those lines a long time ago. "I wanted what we had in that world, so bad Elena. That need is too much for me! It's too much for me to need someone who doesn't even want me around, let alone need me too."

"Who said I never needed you?" She yelled back at me. "Just because I am marrying Stefan does not mean you are nothing to me. You are Damon. You've been there through this whole ride, you are going to be there. I never planned on shutting you out of my life!" Couldn't she see that marrying Stefan was shutting me out?

"I have to leave." I turned around but stopped when her voice sounded much more calm now.

"That it? You are just going to leave? I always counted on you to never be the one to walk out on me."

"You don't even know how much I hate seeing you with him." I said while still facing away from her.

"I'm sorry I can't change that Damon. But I'm trying to give you everything I possibly can. Let me be your friend." She whispered the last part and she didn't even realize how hard it would be to be just friends.

"I never wanted to be your friend. I still don't." I started walking to the door again, without a second glance back.

"Wait, where are you going?" She said as I turned towards the front door.

"Out."

"Well if you want to talk to me I'll be with Bonnie." I heard her say as I walked out the door of the boarding house. It was just too much for one night. I could not be friends with her. It would rip my heart into shreds. I had to escape because I had come to the worst conclusion during our talk. I had to leave. I had to get out of Mystic Falls. I had to get away from Elena. I couldn't be by her anymore. All I could think of was the way her hand felt in mine, the way our lips fit perfectly together and the way I felt about her and once upon a time, the way she felt about me. It was like waking up from a dream that had everything you've ever hoped for in it. I just wanted it back. I'd do anything to go back.

I didn't even realize I ended up in a bar till I heard a waitress ask what I wanted. I looked up at her and found her attractive but I didn't even have it in me to make a flirty comment or to even think about her. I couldn't anymore. I was just blocked.

* * *

><p>I stared at the drink in front of me contemplating. I hadn't had a drink in so long but it was clearly what I needed. I downed that drink with no second thought after that. Maybe the numbness will take it all away... I was about to take another sip before I froze when a familiar face caught my eye. It was the girl... I didn't even know her name! It was Bonnie's cousin. I immediately dropped the drink and followed her with my eyes as she walked out of the bar in a hurry. She clearly wasn't expecting to see me again.<p>

"Hey!" I yelled after her as she tried to run off. I saw her right as she got into her car. I followed her the whole way to wherever she was staying. I don't think she realized I was following her before I showed up right behind her as she tried getting the door to the house open. "Hello." I whispered in her ear as she burst into her house. I went to follow her but then was slammed back. Shit, I forgot I had to be invited in again. I then took a good look at the house and realized she ran back to Bonnie's. "Why don't you invite me in?" I gave her a smile but she just shook her head.

"Do you think I am crazy?"

"Yes!" I shouted. There was no person in this world that I hated more than her right now. She did this to me! She took away the basic friendship I had with Elena and gave me false hope! This was all her fault. "Invite me in, we have some talking to do."

"No way!"

"Please, I won't hurt you... if you cooperate." I gave her a fake smile and waited for her to calm down.

"Whatever it is you have to say you can say it outside this door."

"Fine." I snapped. I was extremely tired and annoyed with every single thing. "Take me back!" I demand and a smirk of her own appeared as she realized she was completely safe with me and she had the upper hand now.

"No." She stated.

"Please." I said a little softer. "I'd do anything to go back."

"It doesn't work that way Damon. There are repercussions. Ones that don't just affect you. I wont do it."

"I'll kill everyone you've ever loved and follow you for the rest of your life in till you are as lonely as me."

"No you wont." She said smugly and that just fueled my fire.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because then you will never get anything out of me."

"Well if that is the way it's going to be, I should just kill you right now."

"I'll tell you what, If you proposition something I'd get out of this little arrangement maybe I would rethink sending you back."

"You want something from me? What more can you take?"

"I don't know. Find something."

"What is going on here?" Of course that familiar voice would be here. I had no other luck. "Damon?"

"Are you everywhere I go?" I nearly screamed it at Elena. I go out to get away from her and of course I'd find a way back to her.

"Do you guys know each other?" She said looking between the witch and I.

"Just future business partners." She said while glancing at Elena.

"How did you guys meet?" She said clearly suspicious.

"He was moping about some girl he is in love with and how she is marrying his brother and she had his mom's ring so we then we hooked up." The way she said it, it was so normal. As if it was everyday conversation. Elena's eyes flashed to mine but before she could get a word out I disappeared from the house. I needed to get away from this life. I needed to find something to offer that witch.

_**AN: I know I said questions would be cleared up this chapter but I decided to hold the explanations off till next chap.  
><strong>_

_**Sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy. I got a puppy on Friday and he's only 6 weeks, so you can only imagine how full my hands have been. I'll try to update as much as I can though. And also if you follow me on twitter I just wanted to say that I always use twitter and all that stuff from my phone and sometimes my normal twitter and my ff twitter get mixed up. So sometimes I accidentally post something that has nothing to do with fanfiction. Just thought I'd throw that out there and explain. **_

_**Review:) **_


	12. So long my luckless romance

_**There are ways I've fallen  
>There are times I've been so weak<br>There are moments when I hear redemption calling  
>But I'm too far down to speak<strong>_

_**There are scars that I've been hiding  
>There are ghosts that I do not claim<br>There are closets I do not care to open  
>They open all the same<br>-Come Undone by Jackson Waters**_

"Damon! What the hell was that?" Elena burst into the boarding house taking me surprise. I was almost amazed with how fast she got here. I only left the witch's house minutes ago.

"Was what?" I tried pulling off the innocent look as I stood next to couch, trying to casually pour my self a drink but stopped when I realized my hands were slightly shaking. I felt trapped in a way I never thought I would. I didn't want to be vulnerable and the look on Elena's face showed she wasn't scared to cut me open and attempt to spill out all my emotions.

"Don't you give me that look! I know that look too well and it stopped working a long time ago." She pointed a finger at me and I now realized she was mad at me. "You lied about something! What was it?"

"I did not lie." I said while purposely being over dramatic because I knew it would piss her off and maybe distract her before I could think of an escape route.

"You did too lie." She said in the same tone which was almost laughable. Almost. "I now know your lying face and there is nothing you can say to take back that little eyebrow quirk that gives you away!"

"My what?"

"You quirk your eyebrow. It's your tell."

"How would you know my tell?" I was actually only halfway trying to distract her and halfway wanting to know how she knew little things like that.

"Oh I don't know... maybe because I've spent almost everyday around you for the past two years."

"We've only known each other for a year and two hundred and seventy days."

"You know how much I hate it when you correct me! Wait... you are counting?" She gave me a disbelieving look. I smiled at the fact she completely forgot about the little confrontation at Bonnie's. But I knew it wouldn't last long so I had no choice but to keep going.

"Well I hate it when you are wrong all the time." I swear for a moment I thought I saw red flash over her eyes. "And yes, I do count. I'm a vampire, it is what we do. Haven't you heard of Count Dracula?" I started snickering at my own horrible joke but stopped when I saw her face completely unaffected.

"Are you done?" She asked in a cold voice.

"Am I ever done?"

"Stop trying to distract me, it isn't working anymore."

"Is that a challenge? I can keep trying, don't think I can't." I watched as she took a huge deep breath and to tell you the truth I was even starting to annoy myself. When my phone started ringing I almost jumped for joy. It was sitting in the kitchen and I practically ran to get it.

"Where are you going?" I heard Elena as she followed after me. I basically pounced on my phone and answered it, with my back facing towards Elena. I didn't need any eyebrow give always.

"Hello."

"Hey Damon. I was wondering-"

"Wait! Are you okay? What happened?" I cut him off while putting on a show. Alaric was my life saver.

"I'm fine...what are you talking about?"

"Okay, just stay where you are and I'll be right there." I said in a calm voice and I glanced over my shoulder to see my show wasn't really impressing Elena.

"What is going?" She asked as I hung up.

"Alaric needs my help. I have to go."

"Bullshit." She said right as I grabbed my keys. "You sounded so sweet and I know you wouldn't act that way even if I was dying on the side of the road. You'd say something like don't bleed out on me before I get a taste." She said in a fake deep voice.

"I would not." I faked being insulted as I slowly crept backwards.

"Where do you think you are going?" She said as I turned around and started going down the long hallway towards the door.

"Alaric needs me!" I said while shouting over my shoulder as I jogged at a human pace to the front door, just so it didn't look like I was completely running away. I only stopped when I heard a weird noise and then something hard hit the back of my head. I saw a shoe laying at my feet and then looked up to see Elena in mid throw of the second one and I barely dodged out of the way before it would have hit me. "What the hell?"

"Stop avoiding this! The Damon I thought I knew wouldn't desperately try to get away." The Damon she knew also tried to hide everything, he was just good enough to now let that show. What happened to me? I didn't want her to think I was running away, even if that was what I was doing. I finally accepted that we needed to talk. I went to close the door that I had slightly open but she took that as me trying to run again and I felt her pounce on me as we tumbled to the floor. The only reason she accomplished it was because I let her. I could tell she was so tired of this when she sat on top of me with the most exhausted expression. "We are going to talk! We are going to communicate!"

"I'll talk now."

"No, you are going to listen and then you can talk."

"Okay." I was slightly scared by her determined side. She had all the control over me and I didn't like it that she knew it as well.

"What we had in that other world, was good. And it was also bad and I never thought I'd admit this, but I've missing it." This was not what I was expecting. "I've been trying to deny the fact that it actually happened. It was easier when they were just dreams and we thought you were being stubborn locked up in your room. But I now realize what happened, it was real. It was our moment." I watched as she took a deep breath and started playing with buttons on my shirt, trying to distract herself from looking at me. "You said some things and I don't want you to think I'm using them against you, but when Bonnie's cousin said... when she said you were upset about Stefan marrying the girl you loved... I just couldn't put it off and ignore this anymore. I can't ignore the fact that I'm hurting you." She took another deep breath and I saw the faint exposure of tears in her eye. "I don't want the fact that I'm marrying Stefan hurt you and I don't know what do."

"You aren't hurting me..."

"Shut up. I'm talking." She snapped at me. "You don't love me Damon. You like the idea of me, I even like the idea of you. Love is a mighty big word and I'm not sure you know the difference between an obsession and love yet." I never thought the moment Elena would be straddling me and talking about my love for her would be so tortuous. I don't think I even realized how deep I was in till now. "Things are better off this way." There was a burning desire in me to say something. To deny every wrong thought coming from her but I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't tell her I loved her. I just...couldn't do it to myself. I knew it wouldn't change anything. She was only mine in a different world. She was never and will never be mine in this one. I watched as she stared at her hand and simply slid the ring that belonged to my mother off her finger. "This is yours. I hope one day you will find someone who is worthy to wear it as a symbol of you... it was never Stefan's to begin with." She put the ring on my palm and held my hand. "Now, you are going to explain what happened." I sighed, knowing I had no other choice.

"That girl... I don't even know her name but she did something to me."

"Did what?"

"I had no idea what she was till be were together alone in my bathtub." I tried not to read too much into the slight grimace on her face. "The next thing I know she is yelling at me and saying she about to give me all I've ever wanted, and then take it away. And you know the rest."

"And you were yelling at each other tonight because?" This is what I didn't want. I didn't want to admit how badly I wanted to back to a world where she would love me.

"I wanted to..."

"You wanted to go back to the world you didn't feel so lonely in." I knew she let it slip out and by her facial expression she was surprised it came out of her mouth as well. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She caught me off guard again for what felt like the millionth time.

"That you don't have that here." She suddenly got off me and I almost groaned at the loss of contact. I was standing in seconds next to her as the door behind us was suddenly being opened.

"Hey guys." Stefan said while walking past us. "What are you doing here?" He said to Elena.

"I was looking for you." She said instantly and I wasn't going to question why she lied. "Are we cool?" She said while turning in my direction. I simply nodded.

"I'm going to go." I said and pointed to the door and for a moment I thought I saw a look of pain flash through her eyes.

"See you around." I was about to leave and I unconsciously wrapped my arms around her in a way that I only did in the other world but it seemed just as natural to her as well.

"Umm?" I looked over my shoulder to see Stefan standing there. We immediately pushed each other way, after realizing that we were indeed hugging each other goodbye.

"I was-uh.."

"He was sad." Elena added and after that Stefan just shrugged it off. It was a good thing that Elena liked to hug everyone or that could have been awkward. I gave her one last glance and left the house to leave her alone with Stefan. I already knew I couldn't stay in town and watch their love just grow. I just needed to know if I was strong enough to leave because I knew it was going to rip me to pieces. How was I going to live through that?

I suddenly stopped in my tracks as the idea just hit me. I think I may just know what to offer that little witch. I wonder how much my life is worth...

_**AN: Okay my chapters never go as I plan so I'm just going to stop promising things. For this story I'm not completely sure but I'm assuming there will only be around 4 chapters left. Tell me what you think:) **_

_**Review! **_


	13. All that I do, is think about you

_**"But, truly, I have wept too much! The dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun is bitter: Sharp love has swollen me up with heady languors."**_

_**-Arthur Rimbaud **_

It's been a week. One hell of a long dreadful week. I begged and begged Bonnie to tell me where her cousin was. I even thought about shoving some tears out but I knew it would probably backfire because we all know I'm not your crying type. Apparently Bonnie's cousin doesn't want to be found, so I won't find her. Stupid witches. Just think how great it would be if vampires and witches got along. We could destroy the world together. But I guess there always has to be a balance. The same balance that stops a person like me from being with a person like Elena.

If there was anyone in this world that I wanted to hate, it would be Elena. Of course that was impossible for me. She was the only person that I couldn't force myself to distance myself from. Before I could actually believe my own pitiful lies to myself and then here comes Elena... I wanted to believe I couldn't love someone, that I couldn't muster up such a human emotion, such a non-Damon emotion. But then there it is, that balance...

Elena has been avoiding me like the plague. I guess that was a good analogy. Maybe a deadly disease is exactly what I am. That could explain a few things, like why people were so afraid to be close to me or even why I was so afraid to be close to them. The reason why I was destined to be alone didn't have anything to do with humans and how low I thought of them but the fact that I was never good enough to begin with. I was always going to be the guy with relationship problems, whether it was 1864 or present day. And I didn't realize how desperately I just wanted someone in my life till after I was shown what it would be like to have that someone. I can swallow my pride now and admit that I hate the company of myself and I am dying to not be alone anymore. I would be fine if it was even just my brother, and of course if it was Elena I'd be happy forever but hell, I'd settle for Rick.

And that may be the reason why I have been drinking myself into a stupor as if I had desperate written across my forehead when Elena notices and scurries away off to my brother. Yes I have been desperate for that attention. Maybe exactly what I wanted was for someone to cry at my feet and ask 'why do you do this yourself?' and maybe I needed a hardcore slap in the face as my brain decides to kick in and inform me it is shutting down and preparing for the damage I am about to cause. Because damage it was, to the people around me and to myself as I was now able to snap at any moment. Maybe I wasn't lovable for the fact that snapping was one of my descriptive qualities "Oh yeah that guy is hot, funny, sarcastic, and let's not forget completely unpredictable and not in the good way." The kind of unpredictability when you can't even feel the sudden shift before you are taken so off guard that every basic instinct you once thought you had is questioned.

I don't want to be like this. But it was inevitable and after I heard the familiar small and hesitant footsteps of Elena walking into the boarding house I felt like running but I didn't have enough effort to jump to my feet. The only thing I could manage was the slight movement of my arm forcing the alcohol down my throat. By now there wasn't even a taste, I could be drinking water for all I knew.

"Oh, hey Damon." 'Hello Elena, I see you are talking to me again.' "Nope, I was just going to avoid you like I've been for the past week, if that is okay with you." I played out the conversation loud enough for Elena to hear as she was already in mid-escape from me. I heard her footsteps pause and then suddenly start again but this time in my direction. I gulped back the lump in my throat. I didn't expect her to actually talk to me.

"I'm not avoiding you. I'd just rather be where you are not." She sat down on the couch across from me, and surprisingly this wasn't as awkward as I imagined it would be.

"I don't know what your definition of avoiding is but..."

"If I was avoiding you would I be here right now?" I gave her a suspicious look as I thought it over but then got bored with the thought and went back to my pattern of forcing the now tasteless liquor into my mouth.

"So you aren't avoiding me...then what are you avoiding?" Here comes the wind that is sure going to cause the storm. I don't think there has ever been a calm moment between us. "Are you avoiding your own feelings? Yes that must be it."

"You think you know about my feelings?" She said not even denying the former statement.

"Trust me Elena I know a lot more about your feelings for me than you think." I muttered and only in the back of my head was my logic screaming at me to shut the hell up.

"No you don't." She said with only a vague sense of confidence.

"Trust me Elena. I know everything." That was a pure lie. I couldn't predict Elena and if there was a man out there that could I'd say he didn't deserve her fire. But I was too determined to be the asshole that I had somehow formed in my head. Back in 1864 I would have never thought of talking to the women I loved like this. But then yet again I was trying to hate her. I've never tried to hate someone before and I never thought I'd fail so tragically. The hate would be such a blessing. I've been around long enough to know that everyone says love isn't easy. But with Elena it was always like breathing to me. I don't think it is love people have a problem with, it's the relationship love entails.

Elena brought me back into reality as she suddenly stood up and her leg snapped out and locked in a show of stubbornness. She crossed her arms and then started nodding her head, that is when I knew things were going to get bad. I've caught on to her ways by now.

"You are right. You are absolutely right." Agreeing with me was not a good sign. Ever. "You know everything, how could I have forgotten that?" I was afraid to say anything. "Please Damon, tell me how right you are. Tell me your secret of knowing all about me."

"Listen." I said while sighing and standing up myself. "I'm too drunk for this right now." I really didn't feel like getting in a fight. I just wanted to annoy her a little bit.

"You are always drunk for no reason to be."

"There is always a reason my darling."

"I came over here to try to ease the tension between us. But I couldn't even get a word out before you started being such a jerk." She gave me a disappointed look and shook her head at me.

"I know." I sighed while putting my drink down.

"You are just doing what you do best." Again with the disappointment... "We should talk when you are sober. You are more bearable that way." She went to walk back to the stairs and run to my baby brother. I practically shoved her there. I sat back down already accepting the fact that we got nowhere till she suddenly stopped. "Why are you so hell-bent on finding Bonnie's cousin?" I felt her suddenly right behind me.

"How do you know about that?"

"Bonnie's my best friend Damon, you think I haven't heard about you whining on her front porch all day and night."

"Why does it matter?" I snapped at her.

"Because you have a visitor." I was standing next to her in seconds to see the very witch herself standing in my doorway with a hesitant look.

"Bonnie told me you had something to offer me."

"What is she talking about?" I heard Elena besides me. I couldn't believe she was actually here. This could be my chance.

"Elena, go find Stefan." I said to her and looked back to the witch. "Let's have this conversation in my room." I said to her as I lead her up the stairs and away from Elena's confused gaze. Once we were out of Elena's view I shoved her into my room and closed the door. "Take me back!" I said instantly.

"We had a deal." She wasn't even affected by my harsh tone as she looked over my room and then landed on my bathroom. "Oh the memories." I could tell she was being sarcastic as she sat down on the edge of my bed. "Now what is it?"

"I was thinking..." I had no idea how to approach this and make it seem appealing. "I'm a bad...bad man."

"Duly noted."

"What I am saying there is a lot of people and a lot of witches that want me dead."

"Your point is..." She wasn't really following along.

"My death will gain major brownie points for you."

"So you are saying I would take credit for your death when you are still living?" I knew she wasn't expecting that, it was written all over her face. "What happens when they figure out you are still alive?"

"I won't be in this world. I'll be... wherever it is I'm going." Her face showed no sign of indication that this was enough. She just sat there for a few moments.

"I'll think about it."

"What more is there to think about?" I nearly exploded. "I need this. Do you know what it is like to see someone you love everyday when you know how things could be? It feels like I'm slowly dying inside. Do you even know the damage you have done? I'll never have her here. I'll never be happy! I'm so exhausted and everyone has a breaking point and I've reached mine long ago. I reached mine the day I realized, I'll never have the things that I long for the most. The things I lay awake at night thinking about. I'm tired of hoping for everything." I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. "Please. Please just take me away from here."

"Okay." She said quietly while giving me a worried look.

"What?" If my heart could have fallen out of my chest in that moment it would have. I slowly turned around to see Elena standing in my doorway with a horrified expression. "No!" She screamed and was suddenly right in front of me and grasping onto my arm so tight that it would have hurt if I was human. "What is going on Damon?"

"Nothing, Elena." I couldn't even look her in the eye. How long had she been standing in that doorway? I already knew my answer. I could feel her presence the whole time but that didn't stop me, it's almost like I wanted her to hear me.

"You can't leave me Damon." Her voice cracked as I looked down to her and saw her pleading eyes that held unshed tears. "You can't leave." She whispered. I would only have dreamed of this reaction. She simply must not be in this room and I've either gone into a full blown hallucination or I've drank myself into madness.

"I'm not technically leaving." She just frowned at that answer.

"What is going to happen to him?" Elena said to the witch.

"It's just going to be like he is sleeping. Once he dies in the world he is human in, he will wake back up."

"No, Damon you can't do this." She turned towards me with that same horror-struck expression on her face. "I'll never you see you again."

"What about the dreams?" I added and turned back to the girl.

"Dreams?" She asked clearly confused.

"Elena, she dreamt of our time together. Why?"

"Oh." She said with a sudden smile on her face. "That just means you guys are connected. It happens sometimes." She said it as if this situation was so common.

"Connected." I heard Elena whisper to herself.

"So what will happen?" I added

"I don't know." She shrugged. "My guess she will keep dreaming of you. But remember Damon there are other consequences."

"See, Elena we both win." I deliberately ignored the consequence part. I'll take care of that later.

"No we don't! How could you say that?" I thought this was what she wanted. She could still have Stefan and I would be gone. "No." Was all she could mutter out between her teeth as her face was now red and a single tear fell down her cheek. I hated this. I hated being the reason for that tear. "I know it is selfish. But things could change."

"Elena-"

"I wont marry Stefan." She cut me off and suddenly her tears stopped as she locked onto that one thought. "If that will keep you, then I wont."

"No." I shifted while taking her hands in mine. I looked into her eyes and never broke contact. I've never seen her so... like me; painfully desperate. "You are going to marry Stefan. I'm not taking that away from you."

"But I don't want to marry him if that means losing you forever." This situation was so messed up. Those avoided feelings are now just being thrown out there on the chopping block. My guess is that she was just reacting on pure panic. Panic that I didn't understand how I could be the cause for.

"Don't freak out Elena. I don't think he is going to be going back." The witch suddenly interrupted our moment as I glared at her.

"Why would you say that?" I demanded.

"Because you haven't been listening. There are consequences."

"Fine. What are they?"

"You had memories right? The other world you had memories of who you used to be." I stared at her confused. How did she know that? They were simple memories and short with no purpose. I just simply nodded. "That's it. You will soon remember all of those memories and turn into the person you were in that world and forget about this one."

"So I'll... I wont..." I was trying to register this awful fact. I would turn into the person that didn't love Elena. I would hurt Elena. It was like my mind was made up in that very moment. I wasn't going back.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I was on vacation and then it was my birthday so I've been pretty busy. I think there may be two chapters left. What do you guys think? Do you think he may still go back? How do you think Elena is going to react to his decisions? **_

_**Review:) **_


	14. It's not worth temporary bliss

_** "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."**_

_**George Bernard Shaw**_

There was a long awkward silence after the witch's words. No one said anything which was slightly relieving and stressing at the same time. In this very moment, I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be angry and upset in peace instead of being watched as if my every move was world altering. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands as I took a deep breath. I had to somehow calm myself down and sort everything out in my head.

"What is going to happen in the other world? What happened to Elena?" I finally found my voice. The crashing feeling of never being able to be happy disappeared when I thought about Elena. What if she was hurting in that world? I couldn't live with myself if every move I made was going to hurt someone. I suddenly was able to understand Elena in a way I couldn't before.

"That world doesn't exist anymore Damon. The possibility of it only occurs when you want to go there. Elena isn't hurting. Elena is right here." For the first time I glanced in her direction. She was frozen and her gaze was locked at her feet. I couldn't read the expression on her face. She was no longer desperate and determined to get it through my head not to leave. She understood exactly what would happen if I left. She would dream of it and she would feel that heartbreak even if it hasn't her reality. "I'm going to give you some space and time to think about it. I'll come back around noon tomorrow." She said as she looked between the two of us and slowly left the room. And least one of them got it. I didn't know how to make it clear that right now, I needed to be alone. I needed to process things and handle it my way. But of course, Elena knew my way of handling things and I knew she didn't approve. I wasn't getting away from her.

I fell back onto my bed with my legs still somewhat dangling off as I stared at the ceiling. Maybe if I closed my eyes this would all just disappear.

"This is so messed up." I heard her whisper. I leaned up onto my elbows and looked back at her to watch as she avoided eye contact but crept up to the side of the bed next to me. She sat down and laid on her back as she was now close enough that our sides were practically touching. I didn't want to talk and I think she caught onto that when instead of speaking she grabbed a hold of my hand and intertwined her fingers through mine as I held onto her hand for dear life. I was just waiting for it, the pin drop. The moment where something shifts and the change is irrevocable and she stands and leaves me here on my own. I'm waiting for the disappointment but for the longest time she didn't leave my side and I was grateful for once that the one thing I wanted actually happened. I just wanted to hold onto her hand forever. The simplest gesture went a long way. It is not like it changed what was done or is going to change the future but to me, it made the world spin in a different direction. How could someone do that to me? How could someone's touch make such an impact? Was it Elena? Or was it the fact that once you came in any physical contact with someone you love so much they have the power to alter your ever fear and your every thought? That's why I think I loved her so much, because she didn't only have the power to change the world, she had the power to change _my_ world, my pathetic, miserable fucked up world.

She shifted her head so now we could both look at each other, not caring about eye contact anymore. Memories of when I was in the other world flashed through my head and I felt like the same was happening to her. In that world it was so easy. We had typical problems with miscommunication but this... this was over both of our heads and out of our hands now. She was so close and if I moved an inch her lips would graze mine. She was tempting and at times I felt like she knew exactly what she was doing. She was a confusing when I was tempted to just ravish her the most. I never knew if she did it on purpose or if it was unconscious that she licked her lips whenever I invaded her personal space. And of course at this very moment, she found the act necessary. My gaze fell to her lips and I stared at them as we laid still in silence. It was a distraction I could live with.

The moment her hand let go of mine the comforting feeling she provided dropped as well. The feeling was suddenly back when this time she leaned on her side and her arms wrapped around me so she was practically sprawled out over me. She held on so tight that I didn't know if it was only comfort or her way of holding on to the moment. The moment was too tender for us. It was unnatural. Before I knew what I was doing I was shoving her away. It wasn't in me to be like this. Everything was too overpowering in this moment that was certain to rip my heart out the next time I see her with Stefan.

"Where are you going?" She said in a concerned voice as I jumped from the bed, trying to get away from her.

"For a drive." I said while grabbing my jacket and keys. I made my out the door and over to the stairs as I heard the thumps she made while running after me.

"But..." She said at the top of the stairs. "You shouldn't be alone right now." She followed after me and I was almost out of the boarding house when the beating of her heart picked up and chased me to the car. "You can't just leave after that." She states next to the passenger side of the door. I had every intention of ditching her somehow. There was no way in hell she was getting in my car.

"Watch me." I said while shrugging. I wasn't even in the mood for myself at this moment. It's never a good sign when you agitate yourself.

"Don't." She said in a warning voice. "Don't put on your facade right now. This is your moment to be blunt with me. What else can you put out there. Stop using your personality as a band-aid and talk with me." I wanted to tell her she was irritating me but I didn't have the courage or effort. Elena could be...scary, when she wanted to be. Her intense words and glares could drill holes in my heart and I wasn't up for that after the day I've had.

I sighed while getting into my car quickly. I could hear her yelling things at me but I pretended to not be able to hear her through the car. I started the car which only made her more furious. I was slightly disgusted with myself when I thought that I was running away right now. But there was still indecision in me. If I really didn't want to be around her, I wouldn't have taken my car. I would have used my special advantages over her and disappeared without her being able to know which direction I went off on. It is almost as if I liked the thought of her running after me, caring enough to make an effort to stop me. How sick was that? Purposely highlighting the dramatics of it all just for a moment, a single moment of some sort of affection towards me.

I didn't have a choice though because she did the predictable thing and stepped in front of the car, blocking my way of getting out of the driveway.

"Damon Salvatore stop!" She yelled at me and I Just unrolled my window.

"Get out of the way." I said between my teeth.

"Unlock the door." She crossed her arms in determination. We starred at each other, both too stubborn to give up. Minutes passed by till I finally gave up while rolling my eyes and opening the passenger side door for her. "Now was that so bad?" She muttered while getting in the car.

"I want to be alone Elena."

"I get that Damon. I know you are really upset and I know how you get when you are upset-"

"You know I snap." I cut her off, tired of the games. "So why in hell would you want to be around me when I am clearly not rational enough to not hurt you." I said in a harsher tone then I really wanted.

"Because I'd rather have you snap at me, the one you are angry at then some innocent person." She snapped right back.

"You think I'm mad at you?" My mood suddenly changing to calm and surprised.

"Of course you are mad at me." Her cationic mood from in my bedroom and then her anger at me from running away all ended up with this melancholy attitude she has been hiding. She thinks I'm mad at her? For what? "I know you are mad because you think I'm going to beg you not to go." She said suddenly getting choked up. "I don't want you to go."

"I'm not mad at you." The thought never even crossed my mind.

"Yes you are. You don't think I can handle it." She was looking at her hands now. "Why exactly did you want to go anyway?" She already knew the answer, I knew she just wanted me to say it. "I want you to tell me exactly what you want." She said while staring at me so intensely I almost shivered.

"You really want to know why I wanted to go to that world so bad?" I whispered back. She just nodded her head. "Because I can't manage to see you as Mrs. Salvatore unless you are Mrs. Damon Salvatore."

It was a good couple of minutes till she responded. "I'm sorry." She started blubbering as tears fell down her cheeks.

"In that world, it was a possibility. In this one, well it's not." She looked up at me trying form words. "And it was easier when that fact wasn't being shoved in my face."

"I never meant... I didn't want... " She finally pulled herself together enough to get words out. "I'm not going to hurt you." She shoved out with a look of determination. "If you want to go back Damon, please go. I want you to be happy more than anything in this world. And if going there and not caring about me would make you happy, please do it. I want you to do it."

"I don't want to talk about this." I said while purposely looking away from her.

"Damon, please."

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Why wont you just let me be?" I glanced back at her and not a look of anger, hesitation or sadness were on her features.

"Because I am in love with you." I was so taken back that the air in my lungs was being sucked out as I sat there unresponsive. I couldn't even move when I felt her start to lean over, breaking the distance between us. When her soft lips brushed mine I was suddenly responsive again. Instead of playing out the dream I've had too many times and kissing her back, I pushed her away.

"Get out." I said in the coldest way possible. I tried not to look at her as her face fell and utter heartbreak was written all over her face. "Get out!" I screamed at her and this time she rushed out of the car faster then I thought possible. I didn't care that I just hurt her. I didn't care that I couldn't even say I love you back in that moment. Because a couple seconds ago she was begging me to leave. She didn't want me around and after telling me she loved me... how the hell was I going to be able to handle going back to the way things were. She just ruined everything. I either had to go back to the other world or leave Mystic Falls. Either way I couldn't look at my brother and Elena again without always thinking what could have been.

_**AN: So next chapter may be the last. I expected to write this through summer but obviously that's not going to be the case. I have three new stories and I can't decide which to write to replace this. I**__**t**__** would be awesome if you guys helped me choose which one to do. I did this before and it helped a lot. **_

_**1. Damon Salvatore is sick in the hospital with a disease that makes him "delusional." Elena Gilbert is his nurse and they grow close. Once they finally admit to each other that there is something between them, Damon **__**confesses **__**to her that he's rich and in trouble and isn't really sick. She passes it off thinking it's just his disease talking. Is Damon really sick or is he up to something nobody expected? **_

_**2. After a long night of partying Elena wakes up hungover and **__**doesn't**__** remember much of the night before. She does though vaguely remember someone telling her they love her and she immediately kn**__**ew **__**she loved someone too. She does her best to try to trap whoever said they loved her into saying it again. It could be Matt, her ex-boyfriend. It could also be Stefan, her current boyfriend who hasn't taken that step yet or hopefully her best friend, Damon. Her suspicions start to lead her to her own feelings. **_

_**3. It has been a couple months since Stefan has left with Klaus and the awkwardness has gradually disappeared between Damon and Elena. Damon is persistent on making Elena try to live a normal life so he sets her up on dates with the 'finest men of Mystic Falls'. How long does it take for Elena to discover that Damon may just be the only man that reaches her expectations? **_

_**Review:)**_


	15. To get a taste of heaven

_**When I was feeling it so hard**_

_**I couldn't see through my scars**_

_**You led the way through the dark**_

_**My eyes were opened with love**_

_**I'm seeing colors flowing through my mind**_

_**Colors by Graffiti 6**_

Ticking. That was all I could focus on. The never ending ticking of the stupid clock. It never stopped. It just kept ticking, ticking and ticking. It felt like each tick was mocking me showing that time was moving on. And each tick was just proof that next will feel endless too. She was late. She forgot or she didn't care. She didn't come. It was six minutes past noon and I sat on the stairs leading to the boarding house. I still couldn't get away from the ticking and I was starting to doubt if I could actually hear the clock or if it was all in my head.

Why was I so upset she didn't come? I made her leave. I kicked her out of my car at one of her most vulnerable moments. I didn't deserve her to come after me. I guess I should have been easier on her. It's not like I was blind, I could see all the pain I caused her and all the pain that she tried to hide. It was all fault, why would she jump in to a relationship bound to be painful.

I had to change things. Elena never came. She didn't try to stop me from leaving her. I've been on this earth for way too long to repeat my same old patterns. I have been a lot of things and a sorrowed heart I can not be anymore. I had to just switch it all off before-

"I made a huge mistake!" My thoughts were suddenly cut off when a red faced and heavily breathing Elena suddenly appeared in front of me. "I'm not too late am I? Of course I'm not, you are still here." She pushed it out as she tried catching her breath. Was she actually there or was my head torturing me? I didn't know which one was more realistic. "Damon?"

"What are you doing here?" I managed to get out.

"What do you mean? I'm here to stop you obviously. I made a huge mistake in telling you to leave. I can't let you." You've got to be kidding me. I took a deep breath and looked back to her.

"Why are you so red?"

"I tried getting here on time but there was an accident. I ended up jumping out of my car and running the rest of the way."

"Why did you do that?" She wouldn't actually do that. She didn't actually try to stop me... That would be too surreal. Impossible.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going to let our last words to each other end with an argument." So that must be it. She just wanted to clear things up before I left.

"Well it's okay. I'm not mad at you so you can go now."

"Are you kidding me?" She looked at me incredulously. "I didn't not just run two miles to be sent away. Will you get it through your head what I'm trying to do right now."

"What is that?" I said with no emotion.

"I don't want you to go because I want you to be with me. Can't you get that through your thick skull?" She slapped me upside the head which caused me to glare at her. If it was anybody else... "I need you, even though I really don't want to. My heart needs you around. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to accept that till now. It is just the thought of you leaving struck something in me. You are constant in my life. You are someone I can depend on to be irrational and crazy and always being able to lighten the mood. You are someone I can depend on not to change. Everything around me has been torn up and the memory of my parents has changed and the way I look at Stefan has changed the more I learn about him, and it's not that way with you. I need that. I need you cause I can depend on you."

"I don't know why you would want to be with someone like me. " I always thought I'd ever find the perfect girl because I didn't find someone who would like me perfect. If she wanted me then there had to be something wrong with her and she just didn't know the facts. And that didn't count for Elena. She was neither crazy or uninformed. I don't understand how this could happen, so I didn't want to accept it.

"I love you, Damon. I know you feel the same way about me. I've heard you say it and I've never doubted it. Why do you keep doubting me?"

"Because you think I just obsess over things!" I finally found it in myself to realize why I was so hesitant. I didn't like the way she thought about me. I didn't like that she didn't think I could love.

"Damon, I was just scared. You scare me."

"How do I scare you?" I asked after a few moments of dead silence.

"You are the most intimidating person I know." She tried out a calmer voice then before and came to sit down next to me. "And if you can change my mind about Stefan then... what if someone else makes you change your mind about me?"

"That's never going to happen."

"It happened with Katherine." She said it only in a whisper and I felt my heart break for her. How could she compare the two?

"Are you insane? I have met thousands and thousands of women and in over century and a half the only one who could change my mind was you. Doesn't that say something?"

"I am always going to have doubts but I'll trust you with them."

"Where is this all coming from?" I wanted to know when it all switched. Why was it that after all this time was it now?

"I already told you, I was laying in bed and thinking about losing you for good and how I would be so crushed that breathing would be difficult and I wouldn't be able to move on. And I thought when you love someone they uncontrollably your world and when you said you were leaving it felt like my world ended. It's clear to me now, Damon you are the only one I love. I'm not confused and I'm not scared anymore. I know exactly what I want. Now you can leave me and go someplace where it won't be so hard or you can stay and fight it out with me. The only difference if you leave me, is that here I promise I won't give up on you like you are giving up on me. If you just waited a little longer... Things could have been different and I know that the Elena that you will grow not to love in that world will either never give up on you and be miserable or she will still hope everyday and night for you while she is still miserable. She will be you. But I promise you that if you stay... You won't be miserable anymore. " After her little speech I knew I didn't have to think about it. She already knew how much I loved her.

"What about Stefan?" I didn't want to bring him up but I didn't want to get our signals crossed.

"Screw Stefan, this has nothing to do with him right now. It is only about us. I'm not thinking about him right now and neither should you. We will tackle that later."

"Okay." I didn't to think about him anyway.

"So does this mean you will stay?" I could help but laugh and she gave me a bewildered look.

"Elena I already sent the witch away." Before the words even fully got out she started fake punching my arm.

"Why didn't you say something?" She began to laugh as well. "Thank God." It all suddenly changed and I didn't even recognize the exact moment her lips found mine. I've never felt a kiss so passionate before even when I've shared some with her in the other world. It was different once she was finally mine. Once I finally had claim to her it was as if none of the past ever happened and she was always mine.

"I love you." I said as I let her catch her breath.

"I know."

Everyone says when you are a vampire your senses are heighten, every emotion is magnified, and reality is shattered because we truly come alive. I disagree, I wasn't truly living and I wasn't truly feeling till I met Elena Gilbert. This is where the real story begins.

_**AN: The End. Sorry it took so long to finish I was sick and I haven't been in the right mind frame to write. I kind of shoved this out, so I hope it was okay. **_

_**I'm so sad and so happy that I finally finished this story. I've had the idea in my head for so long and I just have to say a HUGE thank you to all of you. You all really motivated me and I'll never be able to express how thankful I am for every review/favorite/alert that I got. **_

_**I do have a new story for my writers block that wasn't in the options I gave you last chapter but you should still go check it out.  
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_**Thanks for reading and review one last time:) **_


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